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Make Your Own 'Joe The Plumber' Sign, Watch It Get Rejected

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The McCain website has this fantastic new feature in which you design your own "Joe the Plumber" anger bear sign, about taxes. As the example above demonstrates, however, there is high potential for CHILDISH ABUSE with this thing, and so far we've submittednine different signs that the website *promised* to e-mail to us, and none of them have come. Not even our most benign -- dare we say courteous? -- submission, "I am Walnuts the fucktard." We give up. Now you people go ahead and try, and if you get any good ones past the filter demons, please send them our way. [John McCain]

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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Every so often on this here internet, we get a hate read that is so perfect, that so aptly encapsulates a particular form of douchebaggery that we all must collectively gasp at it's awfulness and revel in the general repulsiveness of the arrogant human being so lacking in self-awareness that they actually thought it would be a good idea to write such a thing. Today, I bring you such a hate read -- Matthew Binder's A Glimpse Into the Ideological Monoculture of Literary New York.

And yes, it's actually worse than it sounds, if that is possible.

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