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Marco Rubio talked last night, we are told (we couldn't hear him over the yowling noises coming from his Sad Hairs), about some stuff.


Like the middle class, and how he is middle class, and how he loves living among the middle class and you won't find him leaving his beloved middle class neighborhood to hang out with the Limousine Ayerses in Hyde Park (probably). So let's look at the $675,000 real estate listing for the middle class home Rubio is trying to sell, so he can decamp with his family to tony DC!


It looks sort of nice from the street, this house Marco Rubio is trying to sell. It has trees. We hug them.


It is not very pretty on the inside, though, this house Marco Rubio is trying to sell. We really wish people would stop painting everything beige, which is the color of sad.


Cool decorating, bro! But we feel like it is missing something. (It is missing a Nagel.)

Granite countertops are the worst thing in the entire universe if you don't count blood diamonds. You would think some flipper bought this middle class 1970s house and slapped on beige paint and granite and then sold it to the Rubios for half a mil. BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG. According to Zillow, the house was built in 2005, which means it is made out of soap flakes and cotton. (Also according to Zillow, Marco Rubio is trying to sell it for a cool hundred grand more than it is worth.)

Ugh, this back yard is so cluttered.

But this is a nice pool. Michelle Pfeiffer could totally snort rails by it.

The trampoline probably does not come with the house, but there are like 27 pictures of it.

And there you have it: Marco Rubio's middle class hellhole, which he is desperately trying to leave. At least this one is not in foreclosure (yet).

[Estately]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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