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You remember Marissa Alexander, right? She was the Florida woman who fired warning shots at her abusive husband (and missed) during a domestic dispute and got 20 years for it. Fortunately, she got a new trial, and on Monday, justice was finally served. Unfortunately, as the piping-hot bowl of justice was being served, it was spilled in Marissa Alexander's lap, and because this is Florida, she still has to pay for her meal.


A woman accused of firing a gun at her estranged husband and his two sons in what she said was self-defense took a plea deal Monday. [...] after serving 1,030 days in jail, she was willing to accept 65 more in her plea deal.

[...] Alexander also will have to wear an electronic device to track her movements for two years, though she will be able to lead a fairly normal life, including taking her kids to school and shopping.

Alexander will be released 27 January. The state waived the minimum mandatory 20-year prison sentence under the deal.

The judge will still have the prerogative to sentence her to more time on the third charge, up to five years, which was aggravated assault on a child. Or he could also sentence her to time served.

Congratulations, Marissa Alexander, your tortuous, Kafka-esque journey through the fine State of Florida's legal system is nearly complete: 1,030 days of the only life you'll ever live down, only 65 more to go -- hang in there, baby!

Some of you Wonkaderos may recall another "stand your ground" case in Florida, y'know, the one with what's his name. You may also recall that guy -- we'll call him "Schmorge Schmimmerman" -- was able to post bail with the help of online donations and thus avoid hundreds or even thousands of days of incarceration. It must be really great to have so many Internet pals, and Yr Wonket has no doubt that some of Zimmerman's supporters' best friends are Blah. We cannot for the life of us figure out how Alexander's online donations didn't match those of Zimmerman. One of those truly unsolvable mysteries, we guess.

Anyway, other than the fact that Alexander has already spent nearly three years in jail and that she appears to be subject to a radically different interpretation of Florida's "stand your ground" law, we think it's time for everyone to just move on with their lives. Everyone except you, Marissa Alexander. You get to spend another 65 days in jail for having the temerity to use a firearm in self-defense, which everyone knows is not allowed in Florida.

[Guardian]

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If there is one thing that decrepit "rocker" Ted Nugent hates, it is gun-free zones. Over the years, he has insisted that they are very dangerous and pretty much the number one cause of mass shootings. They caused Columbine and mean "more body bags" and "more crime" and even "workplace violence"! They are "killing fields"! THEY ARE ALL THE BAD THINGS!

You see where we're going with this right?

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Oh hey, Maria Butina the Russian spy lady, you are still in jail!

Butina, who was arrested Sunday for being a Russian spy who infiltrated the NRA in order to infiltrate the GOP for her motherland, is supposed to appear in court this afternoon, and in advance of that, prosecutors have filed a really fun motion listing all the reasons Butina should be required to STAY IN JAIL until her trial, at which point she will be found guilty as a common Paul Manafort and have to go to so much more jail. In short, it is because she is a major flight risk, but the document is a much better read than that, and it has boning. Shall we give it a look?

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