Mark Sanford Briefly Relevant Again For Last Time In His Life
What would you think of Mark Sanford if we told you he was a philandering simpleton with the impulse control of an autistic starfish? If you are more than half of voters in yesterday’s South Carolina 1st Congressional District special election, the bidding starts at “He ain’t the ‘bortion lady, right?”
Mr. Sanford has defeated self-described “businesswoman” and fruit of the womb of a tv man's mom Elizabeth Colbert Busch to regain the federally provided health insurance he had previously held for three terms from 1995 to 2001, before everyone knew and didn’t care that he’s just awful.
The freshly re-minted Limited Edition (we hope) Representative Sanford will join a House of Representatives that hates you and everything you stand for. It’s a safe bet that he will never again do anything as important as when he jetted off to Argentina to cheat on his wife and then told hilarious lies about it, for he is a cipher, a mortal vessel for inchoate anxieties whom history will forget. Except for the baroque cheating. And maybe the subsequent ex-wife stalking.
This is good, though, really! Now Democrats won’t have to spend sexteen kwillion dollars in a dispiritingly futile bid to defend the ‘bortion lady in 2 years. Silver linings!