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Mark Sanford's Insider Tip For Getting Out Of Speeding Tickets: Just Say You're 'Mark Sanford'

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Mark Sanford was involved in a SENSATIONAL high-speed chase the other day in South Carolina, where he has a lucrative freelance governorship gig. The driver of Sanford's car was going 85 mph when he was pulled over by a state trooper, who wanted to know what the deal was with the 85 mph. For such is his job! Mark Sanford's job is to roll down the passenger-side window, mumble "Mark Sanford" with all the engagement of a tape recorder that had previously recorded someone else mumbling "Mark Sanford," extend his hand without ever leaving the car, and avoid a speeding ticket. [WILD VIDEO atThe State]

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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Gavin McInnes, the super gross dude who co-founded Vice and later founded "The Proud Boys," a fraternal order of yahoo racists who can "name five brands of cereal" had some thoughts this week on the detention centers that children being torn from their parents' arms are being sent to.

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