Wondering why we're going to Mars? The Morning News gives us Bush's 40-item to-do list once we get there:
3) Drill for oil.
4) Find a really big stash of those candy bars. Mmmmm.
5) Find the minutes of the Energy Committee meetings with Enron.
6) Do zero gravity loop-de-loops during a televised address. Later, exhausted, go on 4-month vacation.
7) Proclaim brother Jeb Bush ‘Drug Czar of Mars’ and his dad ‘Martian Plenipotentiary and All-Mightiest Proconsul.’ Then declare Bill Clinton ‘Interstellar Devil.’