Massive Guinness Theft Reported, Wonkette Denies Involvement

A nation weepsThe people of Ireland (and the Irish diaspora) were left devastated today by the loss of 450 kegs of beer to a cunning, but heartless Dublin thief. The unidentified bogarter drove his truck up to a fully loaded trailer of kegs at the Guinness brewery and drove off into the dark Irish night. In a small bit of good news, the bastard only got 180 kegs of the good stuff but was saddled with 180 kegs of Bud and 90 of Carlsberg. Wonkette editor John Clarke denied all involvement in the theft but shed a manly tear. []


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