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Yesterday at CPAC, Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz announced that he will no longer accept money from political action committees, better known as PACs. And while we are no fans of Matt Gaetz, we will acknowledge that this is a good thing. Even padded with Trump-humping and digs at socialism, this was an impressive speech.

This PAC donation process, with the expectation of exchanging money for favors, renders public service, which should be the noblest of professions, dangerously close to the oldest profession. I've never turned tricks for Washington PACs, but as of this very moment, I will not pick up their money in the nightstand anymore. I will never again accept a donation from a federal political action committee. Not one red cent. The American people are my one and only special interest.

You gotta give it up for Matt Gaetz. Not because it's a huge hit for his congressional campaign, which it isn't. This cycle, he's taken in a whopping $43,550 from PACs. He doesn't need the money anyway, since his seat is in one of the reddest districts in the country, and he can hold it forever for about eight bucks, particularly because he gets infinity free media appearing on Fox every other day preaching the gospel of Jesus Trump and yowling about socialism.


But to his credit, Gaetz described the wholesale warping of DC because politicians, even those in safe seats, need to fundraise every single day because the party expects them to kick up cash to other candidates.

"Committee assignments and leadership opportunities are doled out to members most indebted to special interests. Congressional staffers even use the orientation process to tell new members of Congress which PACs and special interests will donate based on committee assignments and influence," Gaetz continued.

"The more a member of Congress proves his merit laundering money between special interest and our fake leadership, the more he moves up. In Congress, 'compromise legislation' and 'stakeholder consensus' are often code for special interests teaming up to screw Americans."

A. FUCKING. MEN.

And though he was careful to pay homage to the PAC-loving Dear Leader, saying, "Remember our independence from special interests is our loyalty to America and the America First movement that President Trump began when he came down that escalator, armed with our well-wishes and prayers," Gaetz also praised Rep. Ro Khanna, a co-chair of Bernie Sanders's campaign, who does not accept PAC money.

So, let's all give Matt Gaetz polite round of applause for being right about a thing. In fact, he's been right about several things lately, including his support for former-Rep. Katie Hill and his vote against giving Trump unlimited powers to march the country into war without congressional approval. All of which leads us to an astonishing conclusion ...

Matt Gaetz is not, as we had always assumed, a complete idiot, so mentally incompetent as to be without the ability to engage in moral reasoning. Unbeknownst to us, he's been able to tell the difference between right and wrong this whole time! Which means that his lies about Adam Schiff and the impeachment process, fight to destroy the Affordable Care Act, and pathetic stunts like that ethics complaint against Nancy Pelosi for ripping up Trump's speech can longer be excused as the pathetic blatherings of an unfortunate soul barely up to the challenge of solid food.

So, good job Congressman. And also, WE SEE YOU.

[The Hill / Politico]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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