Matt Gaetz And Lauren Boebert's NSFW Fantasies! About Blowing Up Metal Detectors At Capitol Building.

White Nonsense
Matt Gaetz And Lauren Boebert's NSFW Fantasies! About Blowing Up Metal Detectors At Capitol Building.

House GOP sedition caucus member Matt Gaetz, who is still at liberty, campaigned in Florida this weekend for state Rep. Anthony Sabatini, who's running for Congress and apparently doesn't mind how gross Gaetz is. The theme was everything Republicans will ban: Vaccine mandates, critical race theory in the workplace (not actually a thing), social media “censorship," and “woke" corporations. (Yes, they want to ban "censorship" and "woke corporations." No, you shut up.) “Ban it all!" Gaetz shouted gleefully before Sabatini celebrated “RINO Adam Kinzinger's" announcement that he's not running for re-election.

Sabatini, who wants to unseat Democrat Stephanie Murphy, denounced the January 6 House Select Committee as illegitimate and an attack on every American who voted for Donald Trump, but he also calls for a purge of every “RINO" who doesn't support Trump from the GOP caucus. Gaetz almost seemed sedate in comparison to Sabatini's rants — Sabatini isa lot, so a lot Florida's Republican state House speaker moved him to the basement — but Gaetz eventually stepped up and shared a grab bag of deranged, racist lies about the 2020 election and the US military. He specifically described Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, who's Black, as the “dumbest man to serve in the military."

Gaetz is dangerous because he's a greasy Trump clone who's embraced the hate rally format. The current GOP has no policies, only vendettas.

Gaetz ominously declared that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi wouldn't remain in Congress much longer and he looked forward to all the things Republicans could do once she's gone. This includes removing the metal detectors in the Capitol that he falsely claimed exist to prevent Rep. Lauren Boebert from carrying a firearm for her "personal protection." The metal detectors were in reality installed after Trump's MAGA mob stormed the Capitol on January 6. There's also no compelling evidence that an armed Boebert would've actually protected Pelosi, Mike Pence, or anyone else the mob targeted. It's hard to imagine Boebert shooting insurrectionists as they breached the Capitol.

GAETZ: I said, man, is it, is it 'tannonite' [sic] or C-4 we want to put in those metal detectors and we blow 'em up when we take the majority back.

C-4 is a powerful plastic explosive. “Tannonite" is not a word. He presumably meant “Tannerite," a brand of binary explosive targets used for firearms practice. The targets explode when shot by a high-velocity bullet — like from the glock Boebert proudly carries. Gaetz will insist this is "free speech" but threatening to blow up or damage property in the Capitol building is normally frowned upon. There was a domestic terror attack at the Capitol not even a year ago. People died.

Gaetz later tweeted: "If you can't fantasize about blowing up useless metal detectors with @laurenboebert at a Florida Halloween political rally for @AnthonySabatini, when can you?" Our answer is never. You should never fantasize about destroying public property when you're a sitting member of Congress and supposedly a functioning adult. During his remarks at Sabatini's rally, Gaetz suggested that wearing masks was turning us all into sociopaths. Yes, it's important for our mental health that we see someone's face when they threaten political violence.

Lauren Boebert tweet: "I'll bring the Tannerite!"Twitter

Boebert responded to Gaetz's tweet: “I'll bring the Tannerite!" She's a sick person, but she at least got the name right — although that's not actually encouraging. She later resorted to the defensive posture of “why can't you idiots appreciate terrorist humor?"

She tweeted: "To the fools who think this would be done inside the Capitol: get a life! The metal detectors are useless and we are getting rid of them when Republicans take back the House."

We foolishly assumed that Gaetz and Boebert planned to blow up the Capitol because they described in specific, disturbing detail how they'd blow up the Capitol. Also, human beings are usually near the metal detectors. If they're just getting rid of them in a non-explosive fashion, they could try using those words.

It's hard to argue that the metal detectors aren't useless if they successfully prevent violent people like Boebert from carrying a firearm onto the House floor.

Obviously, Anthony Sabatini retweeted Gaetz and Boebert's inflammatory statements. Rep. Stephanie Murphy is rather quiet on social media, but we'd strongly advise that she spend the next year reminding voters how dangerous Sabatini is.


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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