She will fuck you up.

Democratic Rep. Maxine Waters AKA Auntie Maxine (she prefers to be called that) does not have time for this shit. She came to work Thursday, saw that HUD Secretary/Possessor Of The Brokenest Brain Dr. Ben Carson was testifying before her committee, and we imagine she already knew she was going to have to reclaim her time repeatedly. So, using her magical powers, she decided to fuck with him, and hot damn, it was great.

Carson slept through the whole thing, as usual.

Just so we all are on the same page, this is what Waters was having to deal with yesterday morning:

So! Waters had Donald Trump's maliciously cruel and ignorant threats to pull federal disaster aid out of Puerto Rico on her mind, and so she read his tweets out to Dr. Carson, and simply wanted to know if he agreed with the president. Apparently this was a difficult question for Carson!

WATERS: This morning, Trump threatened to abandon Puerto Rico recovery efforts. President Trump served notice Thursday that he may pull back federal relief workers from Puerto Rico, effectively threatening to abandon the U.S. territory, amid a staggering humanitarian crisis in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria. [Waters reads Trump's tweets.] ... Do you agree with the president?

CARSON: I certainly agree that Puerto Rico is a very important territory, that the people from Puerto Rico have contributed greatly to the culture of America.


WATERS, RECLAIMING HER TIME: I'm not talking about that! What I'm talking about is these tweets where the president threatened to abandon Puerto Rico recovery efforts. Do you agree that they should be abandoned, that Puerto Rico should be abandoned?

CARSON: Well first of all, as I was saying, Puerto Rico is a very important part of our culture ...

Carson finally confirmed that his department has "no intention of abandoning Puerto Rico," which was PART of the answer Waters was looking for, but NOT ALL OF IT.

Get ready, because Maxine Waters is about to fuck with him, it's only going to take 60 seconds, and in that timeframe, she will trick Ben Carson into publicly disagreeing with Trump:

WATERS: So you don't agree with the president. He tweeted electric and infrastructure was a disaster before the hurricanes and sought to shame the territory for its own plight. Do you share that opinion?

CARSON: I think ... that our job ... is to make sure ... that we take care of the disaster that has occurred.

WATERS: So you don't agree that it should be abandoned, is that right?

CARSON: Of course it should not be abandoned.

Here we go ...

WATERS: And you don't think that they should be shamed for [their] own plight. Is that right?

CARSON: There is no question that there have been a lot of difficulties in Puerto Rico ...

WATERS: Should they be shamed for [their] own plight?

CARSON: I don't think it's beneficial to go around shaming people in general.

WATERS: OK so I'm glad to hear you don't agree with the president.

Maxine Waters sees what Maxine Waters did there.

Well that was highly enjoyable. Happy Friday, everyone!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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