McCain Retreats to NH to Promise Never to Retreat From Iraq
WALNUTS just had the worst week of his entire life ever, except that one time he was tortured, so he's running back to New Hampshire where they kinda liked him 7 years ago, and he's going to piss all that kinda like away by babbling about Iraq. Apparently he was in Iraq last week (srsly??), and according to the Times, McCain "plans to cast the 2008 presidential election as a referendum on the war in Iraq," because he's apparently campaigning directly for Obama now.
"I have told you how I intend to fight this war," he plans to say. "Other candidates will argue for a different course. Democratic candidates for President will argue for the course of cutting our losses and withdrawing from the threat in the vain hope it will not follow us here. As a vast majority of the American people agree with that argument, you'll probably want to vote for one of them. I cannot join them in such wishful and very dangerous thinking. I, however, argue for a different approach. 'Different' meaning 'the same one we have now.' If elected, I promise you another four glorious years of death, mayhem, civil war, and terror. The lists of the dead will grow too large for any novelty t-shirt. We will not rest until our failed strategy has finished failing. I will stand where I stand today in my not-at-all gay suit and promise to keep truding onward toward the inevitable for as long as it takes. There is too much at stake in this election for any candidate to do less."