McCain's New Hire Loves Dogs

WALNUTS! McCain's campaign is an embarrassing mess -- so who better to turn that mess around than a Jew-counting Nixonite? McCain recently brought on Fred Malek to be his national finance co-chair. Mr. Malek has a long, celebrated history in the GOP, from Nixon onwards, and he's connected, of course, to the Bushes.

Back in 1971 he was the White House personnel chief, which made him the perfect guy to turn to when you needed to count some Jews! Richard Nixon, who was kinda like Mel Gibson on a bender except he was President, asked Malek to tell him how many Jews there were in the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Malek dutifully tallied them, a couple were demoted, and everyone went home happy. So one can understand why a straight-talking Maverick would want Malek on his team -- someone so adept at counting Jews will surely be able to advise McCain on who it's not worth hitting up for a donation.

Oh, and when he was 22 he barbecued a dog. Even Dick Cheney waited until he was old powerful enough to avoid arrest before he started skinning house pets!

McCain Hires Jew Counter [ThinkProgress]

Libby To Receive Valuable Advice On Gutting And Eating Dogs [A Tiny Revolution]


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