Acting A.G. Meatball Preps For Congressional Colonoscopy

Meatball, ya dumb sonofabitch, did you not think it was all going to come out? It's one thing to be chief of staff at the Department of Justice. You can whisper sweet poison in Trump's ear all you like, and maybe parlay it into that judgeship in Iowa you've always wanted, since the Republicans are racing to pack the federal judiciary with wingnut hacks like yourself. But if you're stupid enough to get yourself appointed Acting Attorney General, every dirty, hinky thing you ever did is going to wind up on the front page of the Washington Post. And you took this job after the Democrats got subpoena power back in the House. How many times were you dropped on that big shaved thumb-head of yours?

The Big Dick John was fun, but now reporters are all the way up in Acting AG Whitaker's shit. Yesterday, the Post and the Times both ran front-page stories on the scam charity that used tax-deductible contributions to pay Whitaker more than a million dollars. Then, late in the afternoon, the Office of Government Ethics put the final touches on Whitaker's financial disclosures and released it to the public. What exactly were they cleaning up FIVE TIMES this month?

We'll find out soon, because the CREW crew is already on it.

In the meantime, here are a few questions posed by the financial disclosure and the scam charity's 990 IRS disclosure.

Who funds that "charity?"

In 2012, Matthew Whitaker earned $79,000 in his private law practice. After his failed US Senate run in 2014, he lucked into a job with the Foundation for Accountability and Civic Trust (FACT) earning $300,000. Who paid Whitaker's salary? Not clear! The law protects the donors' holy First Amendment rights to secrecy, while giving them a tax deduction for donating to "charity." Ain't America GREAT! (The Times says it wasn't the Kochs.)

Very accountability. Much transparent.

What the donors got from Whitaker is also unclear. FACT paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to lawyers in DC and opposition researchers to gin up worthless ethics complaints against Democrats, and it forked over exactly $134,000 to Kendra Arnold, Whitaker's former law partner who took over management at FACT when he joined the Trump administration.

But back in 2016, FACT only had one real employee to speak of -- Matthew Whitaker, whom they paid $400,000 for ... something.

Was this a wingnut welfare fund for an Iowa politician with a tendency to involve himself in patent scams and other stupid shit that might damage his future electoral prospects when Joni Ernst's seat is up again in 2020 and Chuck Grassley's old as dirt? Because someone plunked down $1.2 million over three years to keep Whitaker out of trouble. And if Whitaker knows who his sugardaddy is, Jerry Nadler's about to find out. But don't worry, the NYT asked FACT's Secretary William Gustoff, who was also Whitaker's law partner for eight years. And he gave Whitaker a clean bill of health.

"I don't see Matt Whitaker ever playing the role of anybody's bag man or errand boy," Mr. Gustoff said. He said that Mr. Whitaker "might possibly" know the identities of FACT's donors, but added that Mr. Whitaker "would do what he thinks is right regardless of whether somebody funded an activity he was involved in or not."

Cool, cool.

Open Secrets also points out that Neil Corkery, who pocketed $30,000 as FACT's "treasurer," is also "treasurer" for the Judicial Crisis Network, which vacillates between accusations of court packing and decrying the scourge of vacancies on the federal bench depending on which party occupies the White House.

Who's donating to Whitaker's 2014 campaign TODAY?

It's good to have friends in high places. For instance, if you work in the Justice Department and are known to be super good pals with the Idiot President, then people just throw money at you! NYT reports that four of Whitaker's admirers made donations totaling $8,000 to his campaign this year after Whitaker joined the Justice Department.

Three of the donors are well known in political circles in Iowa. One of them, Gary Kirke, a wealthy casino owner, donated $2,600. His business partner, Michael J. Richards, made a donation for the same amount a few days earlier, records show.

During the period when Mr. Whitaker was registered as a lobbyist in Iowa, he was registered to lobby for Mr. Kirke's company. [...]

Another donor, Cameron Sutton, has served on the board of the conservative Heritage Foundation. He did not respond to a call seeking comment. Leon Shearer, the fourth donor, also did not respond to a call for comment.

Lest you think that this money was being used to retire the $50,000 loan Whitaker made to his own campaign, the Times has gotten a totally objective refutation from good old William Gustoff, who also managed Whitaker's 2014 campaign. Of course.

"The donations were not solicited by me or by Matt," Mr. Gustoff said. He could not explain why they suddenly came about long after the end of the campaign.

"The checks came in. I, as the treasurer, deposited the checks, and I retired the debt that I knew I could without talking to Matt," he said. "I don't talk to Matt about the campaign."

Sounds legit, and not at all like a violation of the Hatch Act prohibition on soliciting campaign contributions while in office.

Who the hell is Mujo Becirovic?

Let's play One of These Things Is Not Like the Others.

We haven't worked out which Dan Sullivan in Dallas was a client of Whitaker's law firm. And Mike Pieper was convicted of stealing $93,000 of dirt from an Iowa drainage district. But Mujo Bercirovic is a low level marijuana dealer in Iowa who just so happened to find himself represented in federal court by the president of that venerable charitable organization FACT.


Remember that time when Rudy Giuliani showed up in a Florida courtroom defending some random lady against insurance fraud charges? Remember how it turned out that she was the daughter of one of the ladies Rudy was sinking his incisors into behind his wife's back?

Maybe there's a really good explanation for the fact that a guy who was pulling in $400,000 doing something for a scam charity on top of shit-talking on CNN and repping the Nebraska Beef producers was also representing some rando drug dealer. Or maybe there isn't. Because Whitaker was a dipshit involved in a bunch of shady ventures with scummy characters. So if there's any THERE there, you know that the media is about to ferret it out.


This guy could have milked his doomed Iowa political prospects for all eternity and probably netted himself a lifetime appointment to the federal judiciary. Instead he took a high-profile spot at the Justice Department and volunteered to have a daily colonoscopy by Democrats and the media. Every stupid, hinky thing he ever did is about to be national news. Because he's a dumb, fucking meatball who bit off a whole lot more than he can chew.


[WaPo / NYT / Whitaker Financial Disclosures / FACT 990]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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