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Media Cannot Stop Reporting That Elizabeth Warren Has Been Given Job

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Since the eighth year A.N.E. (After 9/11), Elizabeth Warren has beenmaybe going to be appointed director of the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. But is she going to be appointed it now? Or... now? Probably... now. No, she's definitely going to be appointed it riiiiight... now. NO. RIGHT NOW. The latest case came this morning, when reporters thought they heard some guy say something on an airplane about it. Does the media have to stage a coup and take control of our government so they can get this annoying Warren appointment out of the way?


The White House released a statement:

Elizabeth Warren has been a stalwart voice for American consumers and families and she was the architect of the idea that became the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. The President will have more to say about the agency and its mission soon.

Obviously the White House is just having fun with this. There probably never was a "Consumer Financial Protection Bureau." Or an "Elizabeth Warren." Or a "Barack Obama." SUCKERS!

The best journalism is the kind that lets you know something will happen at some point, maybe. Reporting things that actually happen is a distant third. (After Justin Bieber factoids.) [TPM]

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If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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