If You've Ever Thought 'I Wonder What Jerry Falwell's Upper Pubic Mound Looks Like' This Is Your Blog Post!

Also if you have never thought that.

You probably had a normal Monday. You got up, gave some ham slices to the cat, started your workday. You took a break, checked Twitter and Wonkette, gave some ham slices to the cat, went back to work. Maybe you ordered lunch takeout from a local eatery you like. You watched your shows last night while casually giving ham slices to the cat, and you fell asleep. Besides how you gave the cat at least 34 ham slices, which is way too many, you are normal.

Jerry Falwell Jr., though. Apparently he was busy deleting this on Monday, from where he had posted it on Instagram this weekend, we guess, until people started noticing it. This is not normal.

OK, you fucking nerd.

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2020 Congressional Elections

Kris Kobach Has Full Support Of Democrats Who Can’t Wait To See Him Lose Kansas Senate Race

Kansans still prefer Kobach to COVID-19, so that’s something.

Kris Kobach in Kansas is a problem for Republicans. Nobody likes the guy. He's already lost the governor's race in 2018 by five points to a Democrat in Kansas, and now he's running for Senate in a campaign he kicked off by misspelling his own name. The Republican establishment is afraid he'll win the primary and go on to lose the general against state Senator Barbara Bollier.

The GOP's internal polling is dire: Donald Trump is only narrowly leading Joe Biden in a state where he beat Hillary Clinton by 20 points. Worse, 30 percent of primary voters said they would support Bollier over Kobach because even they know Kobach's a racist creep. Kobach is radioactive among moderate Republicans in the Kansas City suburbs — the Lincoln Project-friendly demo who Trump and his stooges have alienated almost completely.

Mitch McConnell, who'd like to remain Senate majority leader, wants to block Kobach. Republican Rep. Roger Marshall is the establishment's favored candidate. He's terrible but he doesn't make a big scene about it like Kobach. Marshall has consistently voted in line with Trump, but the president won't endorse him. He apparently only intervenes in primaries when his pettiness sufficiently motivates him.

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Tucker Carlson Worries About 'Greasy' Barack Obama, Who's Just So Partisan

Somebody's worried about the election.

On "The Tucker Carlson Smile-Time Caucasian Anxiety Jamboree" last night, Tucker Carlson used the occasion of John Lewis's funeral to warn Americans that the radical Left — or the "professional Left," because what's the point of being a commie if it's not profitable — is on a quest to totally seize power and destroy America. In other words, it was exactly like every other unhinged Tucker Carlson rant about how evil leftists are about to seize absolute power and destroy America.

But this time, you see, it was different, because just as we all loved seeing Barack Obama talking like a real president when he eulogized John Lewis yesterday, Tucker Carlson got to take a trip down memory lane too! Except his nostalgia for the Obama years meant he got the chance to once again call the former president "one of the sleaziest and most dishonest figures in the history of American politics," because — egad! — Obama said that the murder of George Floyd was a bad thing.

Guess we're not the only ones who miss Obama.

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This Thinly Sourced Internet Rumor Is Absolutely True! Tabs, Tues., July 28, 2020

Drown your sorrows in low-calorie Tabs!

Senate Republicans have released the HEALS Act, which is their half-assed, supply side version of a stimulus bill. It reduces unemployment benefits while protecting businesses from pesky liability if they kill their employees. Everyone's a winner. If by "everyone," you mean rich people. I will restrain myself from the obvious “More like HEELS Act" joke. You're welcome. (Forbes)

The first presidential debate between Joe Biden and President Klan Robe has been moved to Cleveland. I hear the city rocks. (Politico)

Eleven Miami Marlins players and two coaches tested positive for COVID-19. Major League Baseball has postponed at least three games. My dad thinks they should just call this season off and wait until it's safe, and my dad loves baseball. Teenage SER never thought I'd say this but I think we should listen to my dad. (CNN)

Real President Biden pays his respects to the late John Lewis.

Six months since COVID-19 hit Washington and the state is doing all it can to avoid becoming the next Florida. (Seattle Times)

Portland's mighty Wall of Moms are gonna SUE the Department of Homeland Security for unleashing jackbooted thugs on the city. Don't mess with the moms. (OregonLive)

How risky is working in a restaurant right now? As Cordelia Chase might say, on a scale of 1 to 10? Pretty damn. (Eater)

Atlanta Mayor (and maybe future Vice President) Keisha Lance Bottoms continues to stand her ground against Trump stooge Governor Brian Kemp. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Susan Collins has "serious concerns" — yeah, she said it — about Trump's Federal Reserve Board nominee Judy Shelton. She joins Mitt Romney in opposing Shelton's nomination. Shelton thinks the Fed has too much power and has called for a return to the gold standard. (Washington Post)

Col. Douglas Macgregor is Trump's pick for the next ambassador to Germany. This total wackadoo is a frequent Fox News guest, which is probably how the president "met" him. He's spread George Soros conspiracy theories and believes Democrats are trying to replace white people with Latinos to "transform the United States." He seems nice. (Media Matters)

No need to leave your Zoom Thanksgiving dinner early to stand in Black Friday lines. Target and Walmart have both announced they'll be closed on Thanksgiving this year that wasn't. (New York Times)

TV networks pledged to become more diverse! But they made the same pledge in 1999, and not much happened aside from Ross having a Black girlfriend for a few episodes of “Friends." (LA Times)

Colin Kaepernick and Dr. Anthony Fauci will receive the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights Ripple of Hope Award. You almost feel sorry for whoever has to tell Donald Trump. (The Hill)

Here's Dr. Fauci discussing AIDS in 1984. He's always done the good work.

AIDS/Dr. Anthony Fauci (NIH, 1984)

Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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