If You've Ever Thought 'I Wonder What Jerry Falwell's Upper Pubic Mound Looks Like' This Is Your Blog Post!
Also if you have never thought that.
You probably had a normal Monday. You got up, gave some ham slices to the cat, started your workday. You took a break, checked Twitter and Wonkette, gave some ham slices to the cat, went back to work. Maybe you ordered lunch takeout from a local eatery you like. You watched your shows last night while casually giving ham slices to the cat, and you fell asleep. Besides how you gave the cat at least 34 ham slices, which is way too many, you are normal.
Jerry Falwell Jr., though. Apparently he was busy deleting this on Monday, from where he had posted it on Instagram this weekend, we guess, until people started noticing it. This is not normal.
OK, you fucking nerd.
Kansans still prefer Kobach to COVID-19, so that’s something.
Kris Kobach in Kansas is a problem for Republicans. Nobody likes the guy. He's already lost the governor's race in 2018 by five points to a Democrat in Kansas, and now he's running for Senate in a campaign he kicked off by misspelling his own name. The Republican establishment is afraid he'll win the primary and go on to lose the general against state Senator Barbara Bollier.
The GOP's internal polling is dire: Donald Trump is only narrowly leading Joe Biden in a state where he beat Hillary Clinton by 20 points. Worse, 30 percent of primary voters said they would support Bollier over Kobach because even they know Kobach's a racist creep. Kobach is radioactive among moderate Republicans in the Kansas City suburbs — the Lincoln Project-friendly demo who Trump and his stooges have alienated almost completely.
Mitch McConnell, who'd like to remain Senate majority leader, wants to block Kobach. Republican Rep. Roger Marshall is the establishment's favored candidate. He's terrible but he doesn't make a big scene about it like Kobach. Marshall has consistently voted in line with Trump, but the president won't endorse him. He apparently only intervenes in primaries when his pettiness sufficiently motivates him.
Somebody's worried about the election.
On "The Tucker Carlson Smile-Time Caucasian Anxiety Jamboree" last night, Tucker Carlson used the occasion of John Lewis's funeral to warn Americans that the radical Left — or the "professional Left," because what's the point of being a commie if it's not profitable — is on a quest to totally seize power and destroy America. In other words, it was exactly like every other unhinged Tucker Carlson rant about how evil leftists are about to seize absolute power and destroy America.
But this time, you see, it was different, because just as we all loved seeing Barack Obama talking like a real president when he eulogized John Lewis yesterday, Tucker Carlson got to take a trip down memory lane too! Except his nostalgia for the Obama years meant he got the chance to once again call the former president "one of the sleaziest and most dishonest figures in the history of American politics," because — egad! — Obama said that the murder of George Floyd was a bad thing.
Guess we're not the only ones who miss Obama.