Journalism
Pretty Much All You Need To Know About Trump's Sad Loser 'Tony Bobulinski' Hail Mary Pass
Wall Street Journal Hunter Biden disinfo blocked by heroes at ... the Wall Street Journal.
October 23, 2020 12:08 PM
Donald Trump, a guy whose entire family lives off his name, is trying to gin up a scandal because Hunter Biden monetized his own father's name. That's it, that's the tweet.
Or really, that's the entire stupid, last minute, Hail Mary pass from Team Trump. Half a mile from the White House is a Trump-branded hotel where foreign governments, lobbyists, and corporate entities slip millions of dollars directly into the president's pocket every year. But Donald Trump wants to make hay out of Hunter Biden trying — and mostly failing — to cash in on his connections. And he's doing it with the aid of not one, not two, but three Rupert Murdoch-owned media outlets, because those are the only ones who'll touch this shit with a 10-foot pole.
And now we have to learn about some asshole named Tony Bobulinski!
This year SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.
<p>
Okay, fine. Let's start with "Hunter Biden's" laptop, which was <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/watch-rudy-giuliani-pull-this-hilarious-disinformation-out-of-his-hat" target="_blank">supposedly abandoned</a> at a repair shop in Delaware in April 2019. This week we <a href="https://time.com/5902557/hunter-biden-rudy-giuliani-ukraine/" target="_blank">learned</a> from <em>Time</em> that back in September 2019, someone in Ukraine was trying to sell the same set of images and texts supposedly found on Hunter Biden's hard drive for $5 million. Why, yes, that <em>is</em> when Rudy Giuliani was traveling around Ukraine trying to gin up dirt on Trump's electoral rival!
</p><p>
Over at <em>Salon</em>, Roger Sollenberger <a href="https://www.salon.com/2020/10/22/scoop-rudy-giuliani-declined-offer-of-compromising-hunter-biden-emails-and-images-in-may-2019/" target="_blank">reports</a> that Giuliani was approached in May with a trove of Hunter Biden's texts and emails, but passed on them because it seemed <em>too sketchy.</em>
</p><p>
It certainly looks like some portion of the data is genuine, likely the product of a phone hack. (Who uses their laptop to text?) And it's been floating around for upwards of a year.
</p><p>
Wikileaks is out of commission as a cutout to selectively leak real or doctored versions of hacked data into the public domain, but then AMAZINGLY, it just turns up on a laptop in some random computer repair shop in Delaware. Lucky break for Rudy and his team, huh?
</p><p>
Assuming the <em>New York Post</em> screenshot of a subpoena is genuine, the FBI took possession of the data in December of 2019, since which time it has done exactly nothing with it. Because there's nothing illegal about Hunter Biden being a sleaze with a drug problem.
</p><p>
But let's note that Rudy's Eastern European peregrinations were <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/giuliani-biden-ukraine-russian-disinformation/2020/10/15/43158900-0ef5-11eb-b1e8-16b59b92b36d_story.html" target="_blank">picked up</a> by US intelligence agencies trying to combat foreign election interference, and those same agencies have been <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/deep-state-works-to-protect-free-and-fair-elections-lock-them-up" target="_blank">working hand-in-glove</a> with social media companies this cycle. Is it a coincidence that Twitter and Facebook both immediately tripped the breaker on this story to limit its spread? Maybe. Or maybe not.
</p><p>
Increasingly desperate to make something stick to Joe Biden, Rudy Giuliani and Steve Bannon are currently <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/does-rudy-giuliani-also-pull-his-pants-down-all-the-way-to-pee" target="_blank">tucking their shirts in</a> all over "Hunter Biden's" hard drive. NBC has a terrific <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/inside-campaign-pizzagate-hunter-biden-n1244331" target="_blank">deep dive</a> into how this story worked its way up through the feverswamp into Pizzagate-style allegations of child pornography. And for her pains, reporter Brandy Zadrozny found herself with a giant target painted on her back courtesy of Tucker Carlson. Ain't he a peach?</p><p>
Because Rupert Murdoch's entire army has laid down on that bed with Rudy and joined the circle "tuck," with the <em>New York Post </em>playing the role of cutout, allowing Fox News to <a href="https://www.mediaite.com/tv/exclusive-fox-news-passed-on-hunter-biden-laptop-story-over-credibility-concerns/" target="_blank">pass up the original story</a>, then devote a thousand hours to reporting on the <em>Post's </em>reporting. Which in turn allowed the <em>Wall Street Journal</em> to launder it up from Fox to its own opinion page. <em>It's the circle of li-i-ife!</em>
</p><p>
Which brings us to Tony Bobulinski. Back in 2017, Boba Fett was part of a group trying to get a deal going with Chinese oil company CEFC China Energy Co. Bobble Head produced a series of texts in which Hunter Biden allegedly acknowledged that his family name was the main lure for the project.</p><div id="474a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d49d285df40606413dec130b3a5c66d3"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1319390872761454594" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Interesting to see this alleged incoming text on a phone connected to Russia’s @ru_mts mobile network. https://t.co/FKFtTJUul5</div> — Christopher Miller (@Christopher Miller)<a href="https://twitter.com/ChristopherJM/statuses/1319390872761454594">1603402271.0</a></blockquote></div><p>Whoa if true! And also, not illegal.<br></p><p>
Anyway, the deal fell through and no money ever changed hands. But later, Hunter Biden went into business himself with CEFC, and Bubble Tea was PISSED.
</p><p>
Yesterday
Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo put out a <a href="https://nypost.com/2020/10/22/hunter-biz-partner-confirms-e-mail-details-joe-bidens-push-to-make-millions-from-china/" target="_blank">statement</a> in the <em>New York Post</em> saying that Joe Biden was a silent partner in the CEFC deal and that Hunter always discussed his business dealings with his father. At a press conference yesterday, the Bluetick Coonhound produced three old cellphones as proof. No, you cannot examine Borat's cellphones; you just have to take it on faith.</p><p>Biden has flatly denied Bhagavad Gita's allegations, and pointed to the 22 years of tax returns he's released as proof that he never had a penny of foreign income. </p><p>Nevertheless, diehard winger Kimberly Strassel has happily <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-biden-family-legacy-11603409528" target="_blank">treated</a> Bob's Burgers's allegations as gospel truth on the <em>Wall Street Journal</em>'s Opinion page. Even as she admitted that Biden was out of office by 2017 and entitled to enter into business with anyone he liked, she tut-tuts that "CEFC was always a suspicious company with ties to a rival government. It would have a been risky for any public figure to deal with it, much less a potential presidential candidate." She has no tuts to give over Donald Trump's myriad connections to the Chinese government, including <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-01-09/china-s-biggest-bank-said-to-reduce-space-at-nyc-s-trump-tower" target="_blank">renting three floors</a> of Trump Tower in Manhattan to a state-owned bank and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/20/us/trump-taxes-china.html" target="_blank">continuing negotiations</a> for a Trump development in China well into 2016. Plus the Chinese bank account and the taxes he paid to the Chinese government, and the <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/tommybeer/2020/09/22/ivankas-trademark-requests-were-fast-tracked-in-china-after-trump-was-elected/" target="_blank">dozens of Chinese trademarks</a> awarded to Ivanka Trump when she was theoretically working for the people as a senior White House aide. </p><p>There's also the minor detail that Joe Biden was never involved in a deal with CEFC, and there's no proof that he ever even knew about his son's business negotiations. All of which is confirmed by the <em>Journal's</em> news side, which published a <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/hunter-bidens-ex-business-partner-alleges-father-knew-about-venture-11603421247" target="_blank">piece</a> noting that "Corporate records reviewed by The Wall Street Journal show no role for Joe Biden," and that "Text messages and emails related to the venture that were provided to the Journal by Mr. Bobulinski, mainly from the spring and summer of 2017, don't show either Hunter Biden or James Biden discussing a role for Joe Biden in the venture."</p><p>The authors of the piece, Andrew Duehren and James T. Areddy, also add in a few more details that Strassel omitted from her piece, although she had access to exactly the same set of documents they did. </p><p>Here's a statement from another partner on the proposed CEFC deal, James Gilliar:</p><blockquote>I would like to clear up any speculation that former Vice President Biden was involved with the 2017 discussions about our potential business structure. I am unaware of any involvement at anytime of the former Vice President. The activity in question never delivered any project revenue.</blockquote><p>And although Strassel updates her piece after the debate with "Mr. Biden was given ample opportunity to deny the authenticity or facts of the Bobulinski information at Thursday's debate; he didn't," she neglects to address her own newspaper's news side story completely debunking her own. Nor does she mention that Biden's spokesman Andrew Bates categorically denied Benihana's allegations, saying, "Joe Biden has never even considered being involved in business with his family, nor in any overseas business whatsoever. He has never held stock in any such business arrangements nor has any family member or any other person ever held stock for him."</p><p>Probably an oversight by Kim Strassel, whose journalistic integrity is beyond question. <a href="https://washingtonmonthly.com/2018/05/23/move-over-sean-hannity-make-room-for-kimberley-strassel/" target="_blank">AHEM</a>.</p><p>All of which is part of an <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/24/business/media/wall-street-journal-news-opinion-clash-letter.html?smid=tw-share" target="_blank">ongoing battle</a> between the news and editorial sides at the <em>Journal</em>, where opinion writers regularly publish statements contradicted by the paper's own, fact-based reporting. Because, forget this dumb Hunter Biden shit — the issue of WHAT IS NEWS is the real, enduring legacy of this idiotic saga capping off a truly idiotic presidency.</p><p>This isn't story about Mr. Bubble <em>or whatever that guy's name is</em> appearing as Trump's guest at a presser before last night's debate. It's about how the media ecosystem deals with literal FAKE NEWS being weaponized to pervert our political processes. And it turns out we <em>have</em> learned something from the 2016 disaster when Bannon and Giuliani's bullshit about the Clinton Foundation and her Buttery Males was treated by the news side as worthy of coverage <em>as if it might be true.</em> Which it very clearly wasn't.</p><p>Trump's efforts to make The Blob <em>a thing </em>failed. No one knows who that guy is, the social media platforms signaled hard that the story was bullshit, and outside of the wingnuttosphere, it hasn't penetrated. They tried to October Surprise us, and it didn't work.</p><div id="f1cc2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5c946f5ecfc2e6360f17cdc0e67f0688"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1319369105640665089" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">No indication at all of a decline in Joe Biden's favorability ratings, which is what Trump presumably would be hopi… https://t.co/Y5gfOwVxIa</div> — Nate Silver (@Nate Silver)<a href="https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/statuses/1319369105640665089">1603397082.0</a></blockquote></div><p>We don't have to forget all about Barney Rubble, because we never bothered to learn his name in the first place. The dam held.</p><p>ELEVEN DAYS.<br></p><p>[<a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/hunter-bidens-ex-business-partner-alleges-father-knew-about-venture-11603421247" target="_blank">WSJ</a>]<br></p><p><strong>Follow Liz Dye on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/5DollarFeminist" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE!</a></strong><br></p><p><strong>Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, <a href="https://amzn.to/2wbH77j" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">this is the link to do it.</a></strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Journamalism
Who Wanna Watch MSNBC's Hallie Jackson Dick-Punch Hogan Gidley?
YOU DO! YOU DO!
October 23, 2020 09:20 AM
Hey was there a debate last night? We didn't hear.
Anyway, y'all love it when women kick Trumpers in the nuts and make them eat it, especially when it's woman reporters on the fake news, so since it is Friday — maybe the next-to-last Friday before our long national nightmare begins to end! — here is a post about MSNBC's Hallie Jackson dickpunching Trumper Hogan Gidley.
Y'all remember Hogan Gidley, right? He is the White House spokes-nerd whose name can't possibly be real, and moreover nothing else about him can possibly be real. ALLEGEDLY, he is a different person from "Judd Deere," the gay one. ALLEGEDLY.
Point is, Gidley went on the TV to talk to MSNBC's Hallie Jackson on Thursday, and immediately he started blabbing his dumb lying face off about mail-in voter fraud. But wait! How could he possibly do that after FBI Director Chris Wray and Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe called a SUPER EXTRA IMPORTANT press conference, in part to explicitly say that rumors on the internets you hear about rampant mail-in voter fraud are hell-lies from Iran, which is spreading them by hitting "record" on videos of Donald Trump talking about rampant mail-in voter fraud?
How could he possibly do that? Because he is paid for lying.
Watch Hallie Jackson dickpunch Hogan Gidley:
<div id="cb116" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d92de13ac3f49597debb5a884edd09f3"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1319313529716023297" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Hey, guys - watch Watch Hallie Jackson stuff Hogan Gidley into a locker when he starts spewing voter fraud conspira… https://t.co/V880i6BDjV</div> — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@Rex Chapman🏇🏼)<a href="https://twitter.com/RexChapman/statuses/1319313529716023297">1603383831.0</a></blockquote></div><p>Jackson asks Gidley if Trump is going to STFU about voter fraud now that Wray and Ratcliffe called BS. Gidley responded by whining about TV reports in "local markets" about voters "finding ballots in trash cans." He says "you CAN'T deny" that!</p><p>Approximate transcript, except for how the Hallie Jackson parts are <em>verbatim</em> and the Hogan Gidley parts are jokes about his balls:</p><blockquote><strong>JACKSON: </strong>There is no widespread evidence of voter fraud, Hogan, you know that. I don't want to have to rehash this conversation, I'm asking if the president is going to back off those claims. If you can't answer that, that's fine, we can move on, but just answer the question. <br><br><strong>GIDLEY: </strong>OW! MY BALLS! OW! MY BALLS!<br><br><strong>JACKSON: </strong>OK, well we're going to move on [...] My other question is this. Does the president have confidence in Director Wray? <br><br><strong>GIDLEY:</strong> WHIIIIIIIIINE!<br><br><strong>JACKSON: </strong>Hogan! The FBI director himself, specifically, within the last 12 hours said, on national television, across every network, that there is no widespread evidence of voter fraud. Somebody who's part of the Trump administration's own intelligence expert field, HOGAN. That's not coming from me, that's coming from Wray. Does the president have confidence in his FBI director? Yes or no?<br><br><strong>GIDLEY: </strong>I'm Hogan Gidley! That's my real name! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW MY BALLS THOUGH, MY BALLS!<br>JACKSON: <em>That's not what I asked.</em></blockquote><p>AND SO FORTH!</p><p>And then she kicked him off her TV show, because fuck off, she's busy.</p><p>Well done, Hallie Jackson, you are Wonkette's Most Valuable Hogan Gidley Ass-Kicker Of The Week!</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a><br></strong></p><p><strong>GIVE IT WONKETTE. We mean money. Thank you.</strong></p><p><span style="background-color: initial;"></span></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Elections
Deep State Hard At Work Protecting Free And Fair Elections. No, We Mean It!
Be cool, guys.
October 22, 2020 03:50 PM
Can it be ... Nice Times?
IT CAN!
The Washington Post has a new story on all the ways our government is actually doing the work to stop electoral interference. And they're doing it in coordination with social media platforms and local governments. Deep State FTW!
For months American military cyber-operators, aided by intelligence from the National Security Agency (NSA), have been targeting Russian spies to disrupt their plans by repeatedly knocking them off the Internet, confusing their planners and depriving them of their hacking tools. The goal is to prevent them from attacking U.S. voting systems, according to security officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity because of the matter's sensitivity.
The effort spans multiple agencies in the executive branch. Most visibly, the State Department revoked visas for Rudy Giuliani's Ukrainian disinformation sources, Andrii Telizhenko and Andrii Derkach, while the Treasury Department put Derkach on the sanctions list, after which Google disabled 14 of his accounts and deleted his YouTube channel.
<p>President Obama, hallowed be his name, failed to take the threat of electoral interference seriously enough four years ago, allowing Russian propaganda to spread unchecked on social media. He also blinked when Mitch McConnell <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/homeland-security-just-took-a-year-to-tell-states-they-got-hacked-by-russia-they-were-on-a-break" target="_blank">threatened</a> to turn it into a partisan issue if the administration publicly announced that the Russians were working to get Trump elected. Additionally, Republican states were loath to coordinate their election security apparatus with someone they'd demonized for eight straight years. The result was ... this waking nightmare.</p><p>Behind the scenes, the NSA, FBI, and Department of Homeland Security are now taking a more proactive role. DHS's Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency has installed malware trackers on every state election network, placing them in each county in some large states like Florida, where some systems were breached in 2016. The agency's Elections Infrastructure Information Sharing and Analysis Center was in place to monitor both the overall threat to election security and jurisdiction-level vulnerabilities during the midterms. (Side note: Do you <em>know</em> how hard it is for us to say something nice about that babysnatching POS Chad Wolf?)</p><p>Meanwhile, US Cyber Command has massively upped its game to counter the GRU.</p><blockquote>"Our goal is to make it as difficult as possible for an adversary to execute an operation that may interfere with some type of U.S. election system or may influence a U.S. citizen or entity," Brig. Gen. Joe Hartman, Cyber Command election security lead, said in an interview, without discussing operations. Hackers need malware, network access and servers, he said. "The ability to take those things away from an adversary prevents them from achieving their tactical or strategic objective."<br><br>Cybercom is also helping foreign allies find malware used by Russian and Chinese hackers, then disclosing it. In August, the NSA and the FBI revealed Russian malware used by the GRU. The same month, the State Department's Global Engagement Center issued a report exposing websites and organizations as Russian sites spreading disinformation.</blockquote><p>Working with the spooks at NSA, last month Facebook and Twitter took down a Russian influence operation known as Peace Data that recruited western journalists to write articles critical of Joe Biden. (Oh, hey, wasn't that one of the <a href="https://www.vox.com/world/2017/3/9/14868680/trump-adviser-michael-flynn-foreign-agent-turkey-lobby" target="_blank">FARA violations</a> they didn't prosecute Mike Flynn for? And wasn't Paul Manafort running a scam<a href="https://www.wonkette.com/hey-paul-manafort-remember-all-that-shit-you-pulled-to-sell-the-world-on-the-ukrainian-dictator-robert-mueller-remembers" target="_blank"> just like that</a>?) A similar campaign targeting conservatives was disabled last year before it could catch on. So the GOP may be running around screaming bloody murder about censorship, but the country's intelligence agencies are quietly cooperating with tech companies to throttle the disinformation campaigns before they get off the ground.</p><p>Which brings us to the <em>New York Post</em> story about Hunter Biden, which landed like a lead balloon this week. The original <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/no-collusion-no-collusion-you-are-the-laughably-obvious-collusion-with-russia-to-ratf-ck-another-election" target="_blank">hitpiece</a> was immediately throttled by Twitter and Facebook, provoking howls from the usual suspects who went to Harvard Law School and pretend not to understand the First Amendment. <em>Blahblah whatever</em>. </p><p>The <em>Washington</em> <em>Post</em> <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/giuliani-biden-ukraine-russian-disinformation/2020/10/15/43158900-0ef5-11eb-b1e8-16b59b92b36d_story.html" target="_blank">reports</a> that intelligence agencies intercepted Giuliani's communications with Ukrainian/Russian spies last year. <em>Time</em> <a href="https://time.com/5902557/hunter-biden-rudy-giuliani-ukraine/" target="_blank">says </a>that someone was trying to sell the same images and emails on "Hunter Biden's" laptop in Ukraine last year. And a story peddled by Giuliani and Steve Bannon — who was just <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/and-on-the-fourth-day-of-the-dnc-the-post-office-arrested-steve-bannon" target="_blank">indicted</a> and spends quite a lot of time chatting up shady foreign nationals who might find themselves on the wrong end of a FISA warrant — immediately tripped the breaker and caused the major social media sites to bring down the banhammer. </p><p>And maybe all those things are a coincidence. <em>Or maybe they're not.</em></p><p>Which is a long way of saying, let's all take deep breaths and remind ourselves that this is not 2016. Donald Trump may be out there barfing out nonsense about NO RUSSIA! but at least behind the scenes, our election security apparatus appears to have made enormous strides in the past four years. </p><p><em>Twelve more days. We can make it.</em></p><p>[<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/us-defends-russian-election-interference/2020/10/21/533b508a-130a-11eb-bc10-40b25382f1be_story.html" target="_blank">WaPo</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Liz Dye on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/5DollarFeminist" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE!</a></strong><br></p><p><strong>Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, <a href="https://amzn.to/2wbH77j" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">this is the link to do it.</a></strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Sex
Does Rudy Giuliani Also Pull His Pants Down All The Way To Pee?
These are the burning questions of our time.
October 22, 2020 09:36 AM
Have you been following the twisting tale of Rudy Giuliani going back to his hotel room with the lady he thought was a young pretty reporter who wanted to see his Little Rudy, but just as it appeared things were about to go down, Borat ran into the room like "PUT DOWN YOUR CHRAM" and shouted that she was 15 and therefore too old for him?
HERE COME THE EXCUSES.
(1) The Borat video is a complete fabrication. I was tucking in my shirt after taking off the recording equipment.… https://t.co/F6blogHGQf— Rudy W. Giuliani (@Rudy W. Giuliani)1603316544.0
HE WAS JUST TUCKING IN HIS SHIRT, YOU GUYS.
<p>You know how it is when your shirt is untucked. You lie down all the way on the bed after putting your hand on the lady reporter's butt (at least according to reports we've read of the scene in the moviefilm, we haven't seen it), instead of going into the nice bathroom the hotel lovingly provided for you in your suite, and that's how you tuck in your shirt.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU1ODkxOC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjQ5MDc1OX0.ZwQLxdei0OaVs15jJd3XtbGvwBYZx9YRCqXUk5T5Ov8/img.jpg?width=980" id="62196" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f2eaed7b2e23e9765a25b66819a02390" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>Rudy continued making excuses in yet another interview with the <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/rudy-giuliani-claims-borat-hit-job-is-retaliation-for-hunter-biden-attack?scrolla=5eb6d68b7fedc32c19ef33b4" target="_blank">Daily Beast:</a></p><blockquote>"I had to take off the electronic equipment," Giuliani said in a radio interview on Wednesday. "And when the electronic equipment came off, some of it was in the back and my shirt came a little out, although my clothes were entirely on. I leaned back, and I tucked my shirt in, and at that point, at that point, they have this picture they take which looks doctored, but in any event, I'm tucking my shirt in. I assure you that's all I was doing."</blockquote><p>Had to take off the electronic equipment <em>to do what</em>, Rudy? Because according to reports, the scene shows you with your hand on the lady's butt and asking for her number. Were you taking off the equipment and then tucking in your shirt, hoping to at some point show the lady your <em>chram</em>? </p><p>Oh maybe he had to take off his equipment and lie down on the bed and dramatically re-tuck in his shirt for PRAYING purposes, maybe that was it:</p><blockquote>"At one point she explained to me some problems she had. I actually prayed with her," he said. "And then I had to leave. I had my jacket on. I was fully clothed at all times."</blockquote><p>Well yeah, because Borat busted into the room and told him to put down his dick and that the lady was 15 and therefore too old for him, after which Borat chased him down the hall and castigated him for leaving the hotel without getting a golden shower, which would disappoint his boss Donald Trump. </p><p>All of this leads us to ask: If that is indeed how Rudy Giuliani tucks in shirts — for praying purposes, obviously — is he also one of those people who, when he goes to the bathroom, even in public, pulls his pants all the way down around his ankles so he can pee, even if he's at a urinal at a Yankees game? Is that how Rudy Giuliani pees?</p><p>And after he finishes, does he go find the nearest bed so he can lie all the way down and tuck his shirt in, using the nearest lady's butt, <em>for balance, of course</em>?</p><p>Does he do this even when he's in Ukraine meeting with politicians who have been assessed to have ties to the Kremlin to get fake dirt on Hunter Biden, <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/rudy-giuliani-is-in-ukraine-right-now-sure-why-not" target="_blank">at the exact same</a> as Donald Trump is being impeached for trying to extort the Ukrainian president for fake dirt on Hunter Biden? Are his Russian spy sources like "Rudy what are you DOING? Put down your <em>chram</em>!" but then Rudy is like "NO DON'T WORRY, I'M JUST TUCKING IN MY SHIRT"?</p><p>We are just curious. </p><p>Roodles the Clown from Clown Town continued:</p><div id="c107e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="50d06dd029cac40584e080a7011a9224"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1319031308547481600" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">(3) This is an effort to blunt my relentless exposure of the criminality and depravity of Joe Biden and his entire… https://t.co/yBNMULnsjb</div> — Rudy W. Giuliani (@Rudy W. Giuliani)<a href="https://twitter.com/RudyGiuliani/statuses/1319031308547481600">1603316545.0</a></blockquote></div><p>Oh definitely, we are just pretty sure the Deep State is colluding on a witch hunt with its most vital asset, Sacha Baron Cohen, to take down the great amateur detective Rudy Giuliani, in order to protect the Ukrainian laptop secrets of Hunter Biden. That has to be it. </p><p>More from the Daily Beast:</p><blockquote>"Now let me tell you why I know this is a hit job that happens because, it's not an accident that it happens that I turn in all this evidence on their prince and darling Joe Biden, who's one of the biggest crooks in the last thirty years, and since I have the courage to say that, I'm the target," he continued ... </blockquote><p>Oh Rudy, PUT DOWN YOUR <em>CHRAM</em>, and by that we mean he really needs to stop jerking himself off to this fake-ass story Russian spies gave him about Joe Biden and laptops and whatnot. </p><p>Anyway, it's almost as if he thinks we're not going to see this video for ourselves. Tomorrow on Amazon Prime, to be specific.</p><p>So you know what you're doing Friday night!</p><p>Send young children out of the room when the Rudy scene happens, because NSFW, <em>allegedly</em>.</p><p>[<a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/rudy-giuliani-claims-borat-hit-job-is-retaliation-for-hunter-biden-attack?scrolla=5eb6d68b7fedc32c19ef33b4" target="_blank">The Daily Beast</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a><br></strong></p><p><strong>GIVE IT WONKETTE. We mean money. Thank you.</strong></p><p><span style="background-color: initial;"></span></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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