2018 Congressional Elections

Florida Recount Happening, Andrew Gillum Unconcedes. Hooray!

Also this is your OPEN THREAD!

Nice time! Florida's Secretary of State has ordered a recount of the votes in four races, including both the very close Senate and Gubernatorial races -- meaning that we still have a good chance to not have to see Rick Scott's scary Bat Boy/Voldemort/Doom from Roger Rabbit/Dr. Leekie from Orphan Black face anymore.


Florida will hold a machine recount of votes in its neck-and-neck races for the U.S. Senate and governor, with results due by 3 p.m. ET (2000 GMT) on Thursday, its secretary of state said on Saturday.

The two contests, along with those for governor in Georgia and for the U.S. Senate in Arizona, are the most high-profile races still undecided after Tuesday's congressional elections.

In Florida's election for the U.S. Senate, Republican Governor Rick Scott had seen his lead narrow over incumbent Democratic U.S. Senator Bill Nelson to about 12,500 votes, or 0.15 percent, by Saturday afternoon.

In response to this news, the extremely handsome and bad ass Democratic candidate for Governor Andrew Gillum has officially retracted his concession. YAY!

Gillum is also not falling for the "it's embarrassing" line Republicans are trying to push in order to avoid a full vote count. This is so good!

Again, I love this so much. It's a certain kind of fearlessness that Democrats have not shown in... pretty much in my entire lifetime. There's always been this undercurrent of "If we are just meek enough, if we are just bland enough, the Republicans for whom the party has gone 'too far' will come to our side. If we do what they say, they'll be less mean to us!" and apparently some people have finally figured out that's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. They have searched for all the 'thank you notes' they thought they were going to receive and found them to be entirely non-existent. This gives me hope for a lot of things (number one being not trying to run John fucking Kerry in 2020) in the future.

In other nice time news, Rihanna has officially banned Donald Trump from being able to use her music at campaign stops.

Via LA Times:

Rihanna is strengthening her resolve against President Trump and now has the backing of performing rights company Broadcast Music Inc., which has notified the Trump campaign that it should discontinue use of her music at events.
BMI has removed the Barbadian songstress' work from a blanket license agreement used for campaigns. In this case, the so-called "political entities license" was an agreement with Donald J. Trump for President Inc., giving the campaign license to play her work.
The move comes just after RiRi's lawyer sent the White House a cease-and-desist letterearlier this week upon learning that Trump played her 2007 hit "Don't Stop the Music" at a rally in Chattanooga, Tenn., over the weekend.

I really do love it every time this happens. Truly. I want to see them reduced to only being able to play Ted Nugent and Pat Boone forever. Or, perhaps....

Scott Baio - "What Was In That Kiss" Golden Throats! (Merv Griffin Show 1982)

Apologies if you did not previously know this existed, or how incredibly bad it was. Feel free to yell at me in the comments, because this is your open thread!

[ CNBC | LA Times]

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Why Does Trump Keep Going Full Racist On Black Women Reporters? Oh Well Guess We'll Never Know


When the White House revoked CNN reporter Jim Acosta's hard pass, Sarah Huckabee Sanders's "lie-splanation" was that Acosta had "mistreated" a woman intern when he resisted her attempts to mug him, and if there's anything Donald Trump's administration won't tolerate, it's mistreatment of women. Unless they're reporters or, worse, black women reporters. Then it's game on!

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2016 Presidential Election

The Porn Star, The Playmate, The President And His Pecker. Just Look At This Passel Of Putzes!

Trump and David Pecker knew EXACTLY what they were doing. LOCK THEM UP!

There are lies, damn lies, and there's EVERY LYIN' SUMBITCH IN DONALD TRUMP'S ORBIT! The Wall Street Journal just dropped a huge connect-the-dots piece on the secret plan in Trumpland to use the National Enquirer's checkbook to bury stories of all the ladies Trump bumped his orange uglies against. And, with apologies to Popehat and Bing Crosby, it's beginning to look a lot like RICO!

It all started back in 2015, when serial philanderer Donald Trump decided he'd goose his brand by running for president. Being a dirty old perv, he knew there were endless women with stories about him that might give the church ladies heartburn. (Or not.) Luckily, he had a friend at the National Enquirer who'd been disappearing stories about him since the '90s.

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Michelle Obama Said A Mean About Donald Trump And Made Him Cry

God, we love this woman.

Michelle Obama has written a memoir, Becoming, that you should all pre-order right now so you can rejoice in the majesty of her life. She's always been real, unlike the current cubic zirconia first lady, so you might wonder how much real-er she can manage to be. Well, Obama easily ascends to the top of the Cheryl Lynn scale of realness when she reveals that she suffered a miscarriage 20 years ago that left her feeling "lost" and "alone." She also shares for the first time that both her daughters, Malia and Sasha, were conceived through in vitro fertilization.

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Post-Racial America

Ted Nugent Being Subtle Again

Guess he'd know from shitholes.

Ted Nugent, a native of Michigan, took to Facebook Wednesday to express his displeasure at the Badger Chevrolet Wolverine State for electing a whole bunch of Democrats, and maybe one Democrat in particular if you know what he means and we think you do.

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Post-Racial America

Fox News Cancels Caravan 'Crisis,' Re-Declares War On Jim Acosta And Sharks And Happy Holidays And ...

These guys are shameless

Good news, everyone! Carol's lake house in Minnesota has checked in "safe" on Facebook from that awful caravan crisis, which unlike what conservatives think about climate change was definitely man-made. You probably recall the story about the Marie Antoinette of Minnesota whom Donald Trump had scared even more shades of white about an invading army of hostile poor people. This "caravan of migrants" would not stop until it reached a state that is only habitable for human life for about two weeks in May. Then would come the raping and pillaging in an undetermined order until even innocent lake houses were "occupied."

Mr. Trump's dystopian imagery has clearly left an impression with some. Carol Shields, 75, a Republican in northern Minnesota, said she was afraid that migrant gangs could take over people's summer lake homes in the state.

"What's to stop them?" said Ms. Shields, a retired accountant. "We have a lot of people who live on lakes in the summer and winter someplace else. When they come back in the spring, their house would be occupied."

What's to stop "them"? Absolutely nothing ... that isn't, say, a midterm election that happened Tuesday! The caravan probably packed it in on Wednesday, because what's the point? All eligible voters have been terrified. Turns out the caravan didn't contain gang members after all but just the electoral version of the creatures from Monsters, Inc. who live on fear.

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White House

Jim Acosta Nudged White House Intern To Death, But She Got Better

White House now literally distributing fake news. But we still see Trump crapping all over the Mueller investigation.

After yesterday's completely fuckbonkers press conference with Donald Trump, the White House announced it was suspending press credentials for CNN's Jim Acosta. Acosta had angered the Great Man by asking too many questions yesterday, including one where he challenged Trump's characterization of Central American asylum seekers as an "invasion," and, after Trump told him to sit down and shut up, another in which he asked about the pipe bombs sent to CNN, which prompted Trump to say, "When you report fake news, you are the enemy of the people." Not that Trump was condoning violence, because Trump would never do such a thing except when he fantasizes about punching protesters in the face or declares a congressman who body-slammed a reporter for asking a question "my kind of guy."

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Jim Acosta: American Hero. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 8, 2018

Another mass shooting, the White House revokes Jim Acosta's press pass, and House Republicans start stabbing each other in the face. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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2018 State and Local Elections

Trump Is Handling The Loss Of The House Exactly As Well As Expected

POORLY. He's handling it POORLY.

RUH ROH. Looks like someone just explained to President Babyshits that he had a really, really bad night last night. Which is probably why he was 25 minutes late for the press conference held downstairs from his bedroom and arrived slurring his words and looking like he slept under a bridge. Then he started talking.


It started off slow, with the guy whose party took hundreds of millions from Sheldon Adelson, the Koch brothers, and the Mercers -- as well as "in-kind technical assistance" from a foreign power -- shouting about Democrats being bankrolled by "wealthy donors." Then it was on to some made up statistics, his favorite kind.

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David Brooks Tries On Steve King's Hood, But Like *Moderately* And Whatnot

What's with this guy?

David Brooks, member of the Mediocre White Men Society (his uncle was on the board), is concerned that America is becoming a chocolate city. Brooks scribbled out his scary thoughts in yesterday's New York Times.

Here's the central challenge of our age: Over the next few decades, America will become a majority-minority country. It is hard to think of other major nations, down through history, that have managed such a transition and still held together.

Let's "kick the ballistics" here: "Majority-minority country" is a white supremacist concept. How are the current minorities still "minorities" if we suddenly outnumber what was once the "majority"? I remember an interview with Steven Tyler back in 1998 when he described himself as an "18 year old with 32 years experience!" This is a similarly pathetic denial of reality and the ongoing march of time except also really racist.

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Post-Racial America

Trump Ad Saying Everything Laura Ingraham Says Nightly Somehow Too Racist For Fox


We have finally come to the paradoxical point where Trump did something so racist, even racists are attempting to distance themselves from the diabolical nonsense. When the "Migrant Caravan Ad" first dropped, CNN (probably realizing the media has hired enough racists) immediately declined to play that bullshit on air, because, hey, who even wants to see that shit? Well, unfortunately for us, NBC decided we really really wanted to see it during Sunday Night Football, but they were DEAD WRONG and regretted it. Because we dragged them. But we are now saved from having to see the "Hispanic Willie Horton" ad ever again, even on Fox News, because they BANNED it. Even Facebook banned it, and we all know they love doing the opposite of what's right, so, this is pretty stunning.

From the New York Times:

"NBC and Facebook, both of which had run the ad over the weekend, reversed course after a backlash on Monday and announced that the commercial would be removed, saying it fell short of their in-house advertising standards. CNN had refused to air the ad from the start, calling it "racist."

First of all, BOTH NBC and Facebook ought to be ashamed that they keep helping Trump spread hate -- NBC with nonstop coverage of his rallies, and Facebook literally giving our data to his campaign. After all the help they gave him, and all the shit they got for it since 2016, why the ever-loving fuck did they let this ad run in the first place? CNN obviously learned some shit this year, and chose to act right in the first place. Good.

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MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW, And Other News To Tide You Over Until The Polls Close

Your ALL-DAY voting day liveblogging post!

What up, America, you votin' so hard right now? Us too!

So we figured we'd just put up an open thread/liveblog of good stuff, bad stuff, fucked up stuff, funny stuff, because it ain't like there's any other breaking news besides OMG VOTING IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW.

As we made the decision to do this post, we were watching the MSNBC, like the common gay liberal we are, and we exclaimed "MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW." Jonathan Capehart was on there talking about his husband who works for Senator Heidi Heitkamp's campaign and Josh Barro was sitting there like "Uh huh I am also too a gay leather daddy but I do not have a story about Heidi Heitkamp's campaign at the moment for I have failed at life," and host Craig Melvin was like "I am not gay but most of the other people in this building at any given time are, OH HEY LOOK AN UPDATE ON BETO!"

So that is your MSNBC status report.

Our next updates in this post will be less vapid, or maybe they won't, you can't tell us what to do.

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Rightwingers Killed 15 Americans In Last 10 Days, But 'SNL' Said Veteran Looked Like A Porner

Yes, 'waaaah' is their closing message.

I'm not a regular viewer of "Saturday Night Live," which I'm not certain even needs to air live or on Saturdays. The last sketch the show produced that I found amusing was "Liza Minnelli Tries to Turn Off a Lamp," because that involved two of my favorite things -- Liza (with a Z!) and light fixtures (with an X!). So, all the headlines and social media screaming on Sunday about Pete Davidson, a cast member who isn't Kate McKinnon, surprised me. What's the big deal?

Apparently, Davidson made a joke, on an occasionally joke-making show, about the appearance of GOP House candidate Dan Crenshaw. Crenshaw is a former Navy Seal who was almost blinded in 2012 while serving in Afghanistan. He lost his right eye in a blast, and his left eye was so badly damaged it's considered a "miracle" he retained sight in it after several surgeries. He was deployed again twice, with just the one eye, which is impressive. But still, I guess I'm not seeing why Davidson's joke has inflamed the Internets. He didn't mock Crenshaw's actual service, which led to the injuries, like a common president of the United States.

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Deleted Comments: Trump Doesn't Encourage Violence. It's All Anita's Fault!

The Comment Czar's in Town

Stressed out over the election and the general everythingness of this crapsack world we find ourselves in? Let's dip into the Deleted Comments Silo and see what wonders there may be! It's been a while, so we have a big backlog of derp to get to over the next few installments of Dear Shitferbrains!

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Stacey Abrams Is Funny And Awesome And Sweet And Great And Oh Oprah Was There Too

Abrams should really run for something!

It's not commented on often enough on account of her being, you know, a woman and the media being so dude-ish, but next governor of Georgia Stacey Abrams is incredibly charming and personable. She reminds me of the Georgia that feels like my college home. Meanwhile, her Republican opponent Brian Kemp represents the Georgia that would forbid me from buying a home in his neighborhood.

Last week, Abrams had an "adorable off" with Florida governor candidate Andrew Gillum. The two Democrats traded good-natured barbs on Twitter over the upcoming battle between the Georgia Bulldogs and the Florida Gators. The Bulldogs trounced the Gators, and both candidates deserve credit for inspiring me to care even a little about the outcome.

But Tuesday is when Abrams really delivered the Southern charm with extra helpings of "bless your heart." She appeared via satellite on "The View," and after a productive dialogue about voter suppression with fellow sisters in awesome Whoopi Goldberg and Sunny Hostin, co-host Meghan McCain piped-in with her just-as-serious concerns that Abrams was going to take away all the guns her servants use to defend her from poor people or even worse, her personal stash of guns that protect her from the servants.

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