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Once upon a time a man kept a stash of comically dirty photos on his web site, and then he blamed it all on his son after people discovered they could access pubic-hair shaving instructionals and similarly "shocking" images from this site. Who is this magical dingus who produced the very worst excuse for hosting a porn stash sinceMark Penn told his mom "I'm keeping that stack of Juggs for a friend"? Why, it is Chief Judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit and Reagan appointee Alex Kozinski, who happens to be presiding over an obscenity trial.


Actually, he has now suspended the trial for 48 hours while he figures out what to do with his own ample archive, which features the sort of naughtiness you'd find in the dirty birthday cards section at Spencer Gifts:

  • A photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows.
  • A video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal.
  • A slide show striptease featuring a transsexual.
  • A folder that contained a series of photos of women's crotches in snug-fitting clothing or underwear.
  • A photo of a young man bent over in a chair and performing fellatio on himself.
  • A graphic step-by-step pictorial in which a woman is seen shaving her pubic hair.

YAWN. Kozinski needs to take notes from the guy whose trial he's supposed to preside over: a fetish-porn maker whose hardcore videos featuring beastiality and shit hijinks has made it difficult to find a jury willing to sit through hours of nauseating "evidence review."

Also, Judge Kozinski's not-so-secret cow porn site also hosted several MP3s of Weird Al Yankovic songs. It is for this last offense that he should be hanged.

Upcoming trial will see hours of hard-core fetish pornography [Los Angeles Times]

Judge suspends L.A. obscenity trial after conceding his website had sexual images [Los Angeles Times]

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Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is a syphilitic lesion disfiguring Congress. He's burying liberal dreams, protecting a corrupt president, and he's never been happier. His wife, Elaine Chao, is also shady AF. Where do you even start with this guy?

Last week, Donald Trump said he wouldn't kick any election help out of bed just because it came from Russia. Some Democrats don't want to take money from Wall Street, but Trump is fine with intelligence from Moscow. McConnell thought this was no big thing. During an interview with Laura Ingraham, he claimed that Democrats won't let go of the past because they keep talking about Trump's proposed future crimes.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

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2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

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