Meghan McCain Goes 'Full 2002' With Hilarious Diatribe Against Ann Coulter


Sooooo it seems thatMeghan McCain, famous for being a young blonde person with the last name "McCain," is writing a regular Monday column for Tina Brown's online Ponzi scheme La Bête Noire, which is just great, because we've been lacking a hilarious Monday dump of pageview-whoring ever since Bill Kristol was fired from the New York Times. As with her other columns, today's output is extremely careful to mention hundreds of times that Meghan is NOT LIKE OTHER REPUBLICANS YOU SEE IN THE NEWS -- she is cool, and other Republicans could be cool too if they were more like her. The topic is that she still can't get laid, because her father in John McCain. No! It is that she *doesn't* like Ann Coulter, because her father is John McCain.

The column is titled "My Beef With Ann Coulter." You remember Ann Coulter, right? She says a lot of wacky things about "faggots" and killing all the Muslims in the name of Christianity, and this stuff used to offend people back in 2002 or whenever, and people would write all the time about how Ann Coulter is so controversial and extreme, and then around 2004 people stopped caring because meh, she's just some lady and 15% of the country will buy everything she writes, always, so whatever. GOOD FOR THEM. Ann Coulter's a savvy self-marketer, so good for her too.

Well, welcome to 2009, where Meghan McCain is getting paid to write this:

To make matters worse, certain individuals continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes about Republicans. Especially Republican women. Who do I feel is the biggest culprit? Ann Coulter. I straight up don’t understand this woman or her popularity. I find her offensive, radical, insulting, and confusing all at the same time.

Yes, so does BILL O'REILLY. Congratulations Meghan, you're straight up not to the right of fucking Bill O'Reilly! And even us leftist communists aren't so evil that we think Ann Coulter speaks for the entire Republican party. Only about 40% of it... ANYWAY, can you quickly tell us what's the imaginary solution to this problem so we can go grab lunch?

Coulter could be the poster woman for the most extreme side of the Republican Party. And in some ways I could be the poster woman for the opposite. I consider myself a progressive Republican, but here is what I don’t get about Coulter: Is she for real or not? Are some of her statements just gimmicks to gain publicity for her books or does she actually believe the things she says?

Hmm, toughy, how about this: did the sun rise in the east this morning? Will it set in the west tonight? Is the sun for real?

But really, this is obviously Meghan's biggest Beef with Ann Coulter, and it has to do with her father, who btw is John McCain:

What was she thinking when she said Hillary Clinton was more conservative than my father during the last election?


My Beef with Ann Coulter [Meghan McCain]

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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