Meghan McCain Joins The Circus, And Mark Foley Has A New Radio Show, 'What Are You Wearing?'

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What does MEGHAN McCAIN want to be when she grows up? An astronaut? A syndicated Twitterer? Balderdash! Meghan dreams of a simple life in the circus, as a lion tamer or a contortionist or something. But Meghan is already surrounded by clowns! CINDY McCAIN can walk on her hands whilst farting the Pledge of Allegiance. Not even the most accomplished CARNY is capable of such feats ...


SCRUMPTIOUS HEARSAY: Politico's prized pornographer KIKI RYAN desperately wanted an "upskirt" of REP. DEBBIE SCHULTZ (D-FLA), but alas! Poor Kiki had to settle for a voyeuristic photo of Debbie's Chuck Taylors instead. Beggars aren't choosers! ... Republican Rain Man ED GILLESPIE might consider removing minorities from Republican caging lists, but only if they promise to vote for PALIN/BECK '12 ... What erotic treasures does ANTONIN SCALIA have locked away in his spank bank? If you guessed "a MARISA TOMEI DVD box set" -- the same dreamy box set BARACK OBAMA gave GORDON BROWN for Yom Kippur -- you are correct ...

JESSE HELMS SIGHTING: With tears rolling down his cheeks, SEN. JAMES INHOFE (R-OK) described retiring senator MEL MARTINEZ as the most beloved legislator since JESSE HELMS! Inhofe then began to sing Helms's favorite Jazz standard, Deutschland ├╝ber alles ...

Holy Guacamole! MARK FOLEY (14/M/FL) has a radio show! And please stop leaving messages on Mark's answering machine asking him if he is gay. A lady never tells.

Riley Waggaman's WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com

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