Megyn Kelly Learns Bill O'Reilly A Thing Or Two About White Privilege, Santa Claus
9:00 PM, Channel 433 (HD): THE MOD SQUAD (1971): A brash younger member of the force (Megyn Kelly) explains the frustrations of the black underclass to a skeptical police Captain (Bill O'Reilly) whose traditionalist views blind him to the situation on the ground. Guest appearances by Huey Newton, Charles Nelson Reilly.
Here's a thing that happened on Fox Monday night: Megyn "Santa Claus is White" Kelly actually explained to Bill O'Reilly that the situation in Ferguson, Missouri, isn't just about a lot of lazy takers waiting for a chance to break shop windows and make off with all the Jheri-Curl they can carry. In fact, she almost seemed to think that there might be some reality in what O'Reilly dismissively called the "white privilege theory," which is surely just some leftist illusion intended to make white people feel guilty. Why shouldn't blacks trust our wonderful U.S. justice system, which dealt so fairly and swiftly with a suspect in a convenience store robbery who was walking in the middle of the road, (and who had criminally let his driver's permit expire)? You can't explain it!
Kelly ran down a list of statistics, including the disparity in employment between blacks and whites in Ferguson and that blacks are three times as likely as whites to be subjected to or threatened with force by police.
O'Reilly then challenged those numbers, claiming Attorney General Eric Holder really held the reins in the investigation into the fatal shooting of Brown, an unarmed black teenager, by a white police officer.
"I don't know why African-Americans wouldn't have confidence in that," he said. Kelly reminded him that Holder is running a satellite investigation to the primary inquiry being carried out in St. Louis County.
Wow, she's just as feisty as a young Peggy Lipton!
Crusty old Captain O'Reilly then tried to shift the focus, bringing up his favorite trope:
"It all comes down to family, culture, personal responsibility,” O'Reilly continued, contrasting black culture with what he called the "Asian success story." “All of these things which we don’t hear anything, or much about, and this is what drives the poverty.”
Yeah, why can't the blacks be more like the Asians? You shoot one, and his mom just comes out and yells at the corpse to study harder, haw haw.
But young Detective Kelly was not deterred!
"It's not just family culture," Kelly countered.
"Liberate your mind, Man," she should have added.
"The black population feels forgotten, Bill. That's why they feel resentful. They don't believe the justice system is gonna give them a fair shake, they don't believe the economic system is gonna give them a fair shake. President Obama made all sorts of promises that didn't come through, their Democratic governor in Missouri made all sorts of promises that didn't come true. They have very few people to trust."
And then Link gave her a Black Power fist bump, and they drove off in their bitchin' 1972 Challenger convertible to do some weed and sex, because she's on The Pill.
And you know you need the theme song:
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.