Memes That Actually Ruined Innocent Lives! Tabs, Fri., April 24, 2020

News
Tabs gifs by Martini Ambassador!

Sorry guys, but Trump said a true that wasn't even stupid even though he also, per AP, managed to lie about it at the same time? That's fucking talent. Discussing Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp opening spas, salons, tattoo parlors, he was all like "I mean srsly? Spas, salons and tattoo parlors? Come on." Even Trump knows that's fucking dumb.

Aaaaand that's the guy who said this:

So what the fuck are we all doing? Get the Lysol Marge!

Oh, right, it's DON'T get the Lysol! Whoops, that was almost real bad! Like in Iran, where people believed drinking poison would cure the rona, and it did not in fact cure the rona, it cured them of life. (AP)

So that's all pretty great, what fun we have here in the US of A and also the world! But you know who isn't having fun? It is the president, who stays in his room until noon and then wanders down for his reason for being, the coronavirus rallies he does no preparation for except watching Fox News and apparently read trollbots who say you should get sunlight in your lungs, sad. (New York Times)

Ten percent of me hopes the President of the United States is bored and trolling his own staff waiting for ANY of them to grow a ball — "Shoot up Lysol, would that work?" — but they just keep yessing him. The other 90 percent of me knows he really does want to nuke that hurricane.


Tucker Carlson was serious about coronavirus for a hot minute, then went full denialist. — Amanda Marcotte at Salon

Behind the scenes on all the president's assholes trying to flood the country with hydroxychloroquine. (Vanity Fair)

An instagram account dedicated to Dr. Deborah Birx's scarves, which are indeed very elegant. Too bad her soul left her body.

I'd post video of Kellyanne Conway clearly trying and failing to jack her scarf vibe, but you guys would be unfeminist about it and I would feel bad.

People are MAD at MITCH MCCONNELL just for saying blue states should go bankrupt? That can't be right!

[New York Gov. Andrew] Cuomo also pointed out that McConnell's state of Kentucky currently receives more federal dollars for services than its taxpayers contribute while the opposite is true of New York.

"It's your state that is living on the money that we generate," Cuomo said. "Your state is getting bailed out. Not my state."

Well, that must have smarted, if Mitch McConnell were capable of feeling any shame. (Washington Post)

What we know about what is up with Kim Jong un. Thanks Vox!

Oh hey, Justice Alito is a gross racist dick, thanks Vox again!

Top Marine explains why he's removing all Confederate flags from bases, which ... they better have been flags we seized and then refused to give back when we beat their asses, like basically the only cool thing Minnesota gov Jesse Ventura ever did. — Salon

Neat, wonderful, very legal and very cool. Facebook let advertisers target users interested in"pseudoscience." — The Markup

Old tab! Ask A Clean Person tells you how to rid your compost bucket of fruit flies. (None of these have ever worked for me.) (Deadspin)

I want to stay in Vincent van Gogh's bedroom four years ago! Actually, I want to do anything four years ago and see if I can fix the timeline. We got knocked off course real bad there somewhere. (Artnet)

You know what's good, bourbon and margarita mix, it is like a whisky sour.

The Washington Post would like to teach you how to make pot brownies. I think we could use some, Washington Post!

Okay bye.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc