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Daily Caller's Menendez Hooker: I Can't Believe We Made Up The Whole Thing (Updated!)

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Next-gen rightwing journamalismGreat White Hope Matthew Boyle was pretty proud when the FBI did some boring raid on some shady eye doctor allegedly organizing underage sex-hookers for New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez. Boyle had been beating his horse for months over it, while no one respectable would touch it. (Your Wonkette, along with the rest of the civilized universe, does not consider itself "respectable.")


But now it is time for Boyle to figure out what his clever alibi will be as to why the woman who identified herself to Boyle's readers as New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez's prostitute now says she was paid money by some shady lawyer guy to read from a script when she said she did sex on New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez for money. Did Boyle get Burketted? Boyle probably did not get Burketted. (This is where Karl Rove false-flags you with memos that are identical to the memos the Army secretary remembers typing up, but MOAR PIXELZ!) At least, it seems improbable that Boyle got Burketted, since he was there for the videotaped "interview" with the lady, which he conducted himself, and in which the lady says she was reading from a script, and ALSO which does not seem to be in the story trumpeting the interview along with "VIDEO" any longer.

Imagine that!

Since we are more intellectually honest than anyone to ever work at either the Daily Caller (Boyle's old home) or Ghost Andrew Breitbart's Internet Brothel, where he now plies his trade, we will point out that just because this lady says she was paid to give her fake testimony about the bonking of the senator does not mean that all the other ladies who allegedly orgied the senator are equally made up.

And, hell, maybe that lady was telling the truth the first time, and now the boys at the Bada Bing have gotten her ... to lie!

We are pretty sure that is what Boyle will be going with, anyway, now that his canary has changed her spots.

We would tweet at Boyle for comment, but he's uncharacteristically quiet lately, and, also too, fuck that.

UPDATE: Daily Caller -- again, where Boyle no longer works -- responds with the classic "Different prostitute dudes. But same lawyer, we guess, as he "now stands accused of orchestrating the entire episode"? (It is hard to tell just what they are trying to prove and disprove amid all their gunk and verbiage.) AND PIXELZ!" So there you have it.

[WaPo]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

UPDATE:

Martin apparently bought the gun after successfully applying for an Illinois state Firearms ID. That license was revoked after he applied for a concealed carry license and was rejected due to his prior felony conviction in Mississippi, but no one bothered to see if he still had a gun.

Via USA Today:

"During the fingerprinting and background process it was discovered that he had a felony conviction for aggravated assault out of Mississippi," [Police Chief Kristen] Ziman said. "It should be noted that this conviction would not have shown up on a criminal background check conducted for an FOID card."

That seems like it might be a problem, no?

It has also since been revealed that Martin had a domestic battery arrest in 2008 in Aurora.

[Sun-Times]

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