Donate

help he's being oppressed


So Corey Lewandowski, that Trump idiot who assaulted a lady reporter from Breitbart (ALLEGEDLY, ACCORDING TO THE VIDEOTAPE!), who got canned from the Trump campaign and immediately love-hired by CNN, for journalism reasons, all while he continued to make a paycheck from the Trump campaign, you remember him? Yeah, you do.

Here Lewandowski is, on the Sean Hannity Teevee Funtimes Hour, where Sean Hannity slaps himself in the face with a Trump-shaped buttplug for SIXTY WHOLE MINUTES every night, saying this Christmas is going to be the best Christmas of all, because we are now allowed to say "Merry Christmas!" again, because Donald Trump, old Gropey Claus himself, has been elected president:

No transcript, because you don't need one.

But we have a teensy weensy question for Corey Lewandowski. And just so he knows where we are coming from, we must point out that we, yr Wonkette, live inside the urban liberal bubble, at least as much as you can do so when you live in a large city in the South. And we say "Merry Christmas!" ALL THE TIME!

So, our question is:

WHAT FREAKING CRACKER BARREL BIG LOTS OUT IN THE STICKS HAS BEEN DENYING THIS ASSHOLE THE RIGHT TO SAY "MERRY CHRISTMAS"?

We know, it comes up every year, this mythical "War On Christmas" thing. But Jesus Christ sittin' on Santa's lap askin' for collectible Beanie Babies, this is ridiculous. No one has been denied their rights to do anything during the holiday Christmas season, even during the dark years of Secret Muslin O'Bummer.

So seriously, who has denied him his Merry Christmas-ing rights? And no, saying you were #triggered when the lady at TJ Maxx said "Happy Holidays!" to you does not count. If you're that much of a #specialsnowflake that you get #triggered by that, then you need to go back to your #safespace and #STFU so we don't have to listen to you crying.

OK, that is our question for Corey Lewandowski, to whom we would also like to say, MERRY EFFING CHRISTMAS, YOU PATHETIC TURD-WHISTLE.

In baby Jesus's name,

Amen.

[Right Wing Watch]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc