Metro Section: A Metaphysical Can of Worms
John Malkovich appears on Fox and Friends, and simultaneously the hosts and entire viewing audience furrow their very confused brows. [ Circle V ]
In the immortal words of Lieutenant Dan, "I am living off the government tit! Sucking it dry!" [ America Supports You ]
Jose Guillen's girlfriend got robbed last night of $12,000 in cash. Where's the other $3,988,000, Jose? Buried under the warning track? [ NBC 4 ]
Eating the granola bars out of your office emergency kit because you got hungry at 4 o'clock means the terrorists have won. [ MVD Unplugged ]
Court TV had their Washington bureau opening party last night, and reports indicate that Nancy Grace's hair actually is a helmet. [ Fishbowl DC ]