Metro Section: Kindergarten Gross Out Edition

  • Fenty, fifty. Fifty states. If Fenty gives DC voting rights the whole country will fall apart and people will poop from their peeholes and pee from their poopholes. [The DC Universe]

  • "I like being friends with my dad. I know I sound like a kindergartener when I say it, but I do." Nah, bro. You don't sound like a kindergartner, but you spell like one. [Fictional Rockstar]

  • "Esther Phillips has has an album and a song called 'What a Diff'rence a Day Makes.' Dude, what a difference a designated driver makes! So for real... I'm slightly hungover at work right now typing this." [Panama's Proposition]

  • OMG this is insanely disgusting. But safe for work. Commenter says: "Jesus Christ Jeff, it's gonna take about three hours of to get over this one." [And I am Not Lying, For Real]

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