Metro Section: You're Not White, Want to Be Friends?

  • Seeking 175 ethnic friends to play parachute, wear AIDS ribbons. [Sarcastic and Cynical]

  • Dear Lonny Baxter, "Dude, you might have not been playing in the NBA, but you would've been making a six figure salary overseas in Italy, not Kazakhstan or some shit. Boo-fucking-hoo." [The Upstate Life]

  • Pedestrians have the greatest rage of all. "What are you looking at, fuckers? Why don't you get off your asses and try walking to work?" [Tiaras Optional]

  • DC's Trader Joe's will open September 1st. As in NY, riots expected, Hawaiian shirts shredded. [Free Ride]

  • The Hill starts tonight -- guaranteed to make you nostalgic for Jessica Cutler. [DCist]

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