Donate

Michele Bachmann Calls On Us To Solve The 'Puzzle' of Her Twisted Mind

News

Forgotten succubus Michele Bachmann crossed a new desperation milestone today with a cryptic and paranoid attack whereshe claimed that there are secret unnamed Republican fiends who are "frugal socialists," declined to explain what those are or who exactly makes up this shadowy cabal of right-wing Leninists, and then promised to root out socialism in the GOP and America. When one reporter asked the obvious what in the hell are you talking about follow-up question, she gave an evil grin and said, "that's part of the puzzle that you figure out when I give a speech." Thanks, dingbat Yoda, but that is not how presidential campaign communications work.


Oh, no matter. It's fun! Well, the stab-in-the-dark missing puzzle piece here is that Michele is too chicken shit to call out her Republican presidential primary rivals by name for their, uh, socialist policies and platforms, because Michele has no idea what either "socialism" or "policies" actually are, so she made up some weird conspiracy theory to sound ominous. She has the hang of it! Here's another strange aphorism she offered up in this same speech, via The Hill:

"If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat," she said, invoking a passage from the Bible's New Testament.

There you have your riddle to unlock the key to your suffering, starving masses, straight from the Jedi master herself. [The Hill]

$
Donate with CC

We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

It was a big weekend for the New Cruelty, with the first tent city for kids opening in Texas and immediately becoming the focus of protests, the head of Homeland Security lying about the Trump administration's family separation policy, and one of the architects of that policy, Stephen Miller, telling the New York Times about what a brilliant policy it is. And more and more kids continue to be taken from their families. Let's round up the latest in the ongoing nightmare our crapsack nation has become.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc

SUPPORT THE CAUSE

Donate