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Former Congressidiot Michele Bachmann explained in a recent interview that even when Barack Obama is trying to get one group of Muslims to bomb the hell out of another group of Muslims, he is actually advancing worldwide Islamic jihad, because of course he is.


You see, Barack Obama did a terrible thing: Back in November, he sent a "secret letter" to Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khamanei, saying it would be really nice if Iran were down with fighting ISIS in Syria. The Wall Street Journal said the letter "appeared aimed both at buttressing the campaign against Islamic State and nudging Iran’s religious leader closer to a nuclear deal." Shocking stuff! No American president who loves America has ever had contact with out enemies, ever, and certainly not with the aim of urging one enemy to go attack another one. Just look it up, and you'll see it's true.

And so, on a rightwing radio show earlier this week, Bachmann explained the true meaning of Obama's attempt to fight ISIS: He really just loves him some world domination by Muslims:

"And I have been very surprised, to answer your question, to see the President of the United States, at every turn, cut the legs off of our ally, Israel, and in fact embrace and lift up the agenda of Islamic jihad," Bachmann said during an interview on Washington Watch, hosted by the Family Research Council's Tony Perkins.

Bachmann actually seemed rather unclear on who is doing what in this whole scheme. Obama was asking Iran to help fight ISIS, but somehow that became, in Bachmann's version, agreement with ISIS? It's hard to tell from the word salad:

Now when in the world -- and by that, I mean the goals of the Islamic State, the fact that they want their own state. Our president, we know now, is writing secret notes to the Ayatollah in Iran; there’s a recent report that the president is trying to have private meetings with the Ayatollah in Iran. Iran is very clear about their goal -- their goal is to have a nuclear weapon. They’ve said, unequivocally, they will use it against the United States and against Israel.

So talking to Iran about fighting ISIS will somehow help ISIS establish an Islamic state? And a deal to limit Iran's nuclear program will lead to a glowing crater in Tel Aviv, because of course Iran would ignore any such treaty and really wants to be nuked in return, we guess. If Obama had any sense, she told Perkins, he'd have listened to her when she told him at the White House Christmas party to just bomb Iran instead, although in this version she merely says she told Obama to "please end their nuclear program, because we have the capacity to end it," without explicitly saying "bomb them" -- it's almost as if Bachmann has some vague awareness that "bomb them" is not smart? Unpossible -- when has bombing the hell out of a Middle Eastern country not brought immediate success?

To sum up: Michele Bachmann was on the House Intelligence Committee and isn't anymore. 2015 looks brighter already.

[TPM / Buzzfeed / WSJ]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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