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Michele Bachmann Never Gets to Do Anything Fun/Illegal

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OMG you guys: Minnesota patriot-princess Michele Bachmann might be in trubs thanks to her campaign-commercial boyfriend,"Jim the Election Rentboy." The Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party alleges that Bachmann has violated federal election law by letting Jim (real name: Beau Peregino) condescend for the camera just a bit too long in her latest ad. How could such a competent congresswoman commit this obvious blunder? There must be a mistake. Or did Jim and his pricey corn dog somehow mess with her mind?


It's not out of the question! Just look at how mussed-up her hair is, ehhhhhh? However, the real evildoers are the Demorat-Farmer-Labortards, who have sent a press release to all of America's teevee stations announcing that Bachmann's image and disclaimer "do not appear in her ad for at least 4 seconds at the end of the ad as specified by federal law." Yes, the federal government actually requires MORE Michele Bachmann to be satisfied, not less.

The DFL's press release explains:

The Communications Act of 1934 permits a federal candidate receiving the lowest unit charge to air a television ad that makes direct reference to another candidate for the same office only if, at the end of the broadcast, both a photo and disclaimer from the candidate appear for no less than four seconds. Representative Bachmann's disclaimer in her most recent ad does not comply, as her image does not appear anywhere at the end of the advertisement.

Because Bachmann's image and disclaimer run for less than three seconds, and at the beginning of the ad instead of at the end, the DFL Party wants the government to take away the special ad rates Bachmann gets for being a campaigning politician. If that happens, she'll have to pay more to put Jim on voters' glowboxes, which will make her go broke faster. And then America will DIE.

This is the thanks our courageous patriotess receives, after saying 9/11 things to protect America from terrorists and supporting heroes like "the Princess Kay of the Milky Way." Outrageous.

Bachmann also got into legal trouble for the ad featuring Jim and his corn dog, which displayed the Minnesota State Fair logo. She had never-never-ever received permission to use the logo, so the people at the fair made her remove it. My goodness, she is only trying to create! Why won't people let her be creative? (Answer: sexism.) [Dump Michele Bachmann/Minnesota Progressive Project/Michele Bachmann campaign/Minnesota Public Radio]

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