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Staunch conservative baby harvester Rep. Michele Bachmann sez: "First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail?" Ha ha ha, oh heavens, we think that might be a slap at the dreaded Liberals! Bachmann, as always, has hit upon something brilliant here that could carry the Republicans into landslide victories this fall: The government is flooding the economy with cash, ergo the Democrats must be behind this, and they will continue to bail out their "San Francisco values" companies if you elect them. "What's next, STARBUCKS?" Marvelous. [ABC News]
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Times have been tough for those Trump supporters who are fine with his rampant bigotry but are discovering he's going to screw them like any number of non-wife-like women he totally swears he's never met.

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Jesse Kelly, the failed Arizona congressional candidate who thought he could take Gabby Giffords's former seat with a combination of word salad and support from white supremacists, has landed himself a sweet gig in the wingnuttosphere, where he writes columns for "The Federalist" and recently started a very dumb Youtube channel. This week, his very creative mind brings us a fantasia on America's inevitable slide into socialism, and a vow that unlike lots of sheeple, he won't go down without taking some liberal scalps. He insists he means that metaphorically, which is why he begins by a detailed description of taking a human scalp:

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