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Michele Bachmann Sends Creepy Spam Promising To 'Fleece' Supporters

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Alright you weirdos (we say it with love), here by popular demand of the zillion or so tipsters who were revolted enough by Michele Bachmann's latest apparently irony-free email spam offer to "fleece" her supporters in exchange for money -- funny how that works! -- that you all forwarded it to us knowing we would be forced to create this terrifying Halloween blingee. 'Tis the season! According to the email, Michele's undead campaign wants "$75 or more" for this "exclusive" common Middle American autumn uniform normally available for $3.99 in the sale bin at TJMaxx, which, as the business-folk would say, is a pretty solid margin. Are supporters buying it?


No, even teabaggers are now growing tired of her depth-less grifting. The national Tea Party group American Majority (which CNN notes must be important somehow because they have 371,000 "likes" on Facebook, great investigative work there) is calling on Bachmann to quit acting like a ridiculous ass and drop out of the race.

The group explained its reasons why it's grown incensed with Bachmann.

"I think it's pretty obvious that Michele Bachmann is about Michele Bachmann," American Majority Executive Director Matt Robbins said.

They've finally clued in! Halloween miracles do happen, after all. [Michele Bachmann's Annoying Spam List/ CNN]

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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