Michele Bachmann Will Teach These Oxford Dummies A Thing Or Two About How To Debate

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Fresh off her vigorous defense of Free American Free Straight and Billionaire People from the bullying of the gays and the liberals who are shutting down freedom wherever they find it, Michele Bachmann is headed to Jolly Old Kidney Pie Land to share her unique language stylings with the Oxford Union, England's most famous debating society, at least for Muggles. She will be speaking Friday on the exciting topic “Seeds of Progress: The struggle between innovation and bureaucracy.” We are guessing that she will be on the side of "innovation" for this one, because everyone who works in government is a leech who gets in the way of economic progress, according to the former IRS employee who has been in Congress since 2007 and previously served in the Minnesota Senate from 2001-2007.


“It is a high honor to be invited to speak at the Oxford Union and share ideas with some of the brightest young minds in the world,” Bachmann said in a statement. “I believe that it is no coincidence that the greatest explosion of innovation in history accompanied our first experiments with political liberty and free enterprise. If we keep our societies open to innovation, we will continue to see breakthroughs that empower individuals to collaborate and transcend the bureaucracies that are thwarting progress.”

Yes, if anything stifles progress, it's having a system of government that wastes time on things like building roads, establishing communication networks, registering patents on inventions, negotiating international trade agreements, and other functions that a complex technological society has no use for, because heaven knows Eli Whitney would have been delighted if the cotton gin had just been copied by anyone who wanted to build one.

Sadly, there's no word on what we really want to know about the event: Will questions be allowed? We'd rather like to see what the clever young elitists of Oxford could come up with for Ms. Bachmann. If someone asks her anything too tough, she can always scream about being bullied and go hide in the bathroom, just as long as it's been cleared of lesbians.

[The Hill]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He knows that when you're in England, you should try to talk like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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