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"Remember all those kids doing jumping jacks at the White House in October?" wonderedthis story. We obviously did not, but here is a reminder: A few months ago, our FLOTUS decided to teach children the value of exercise by obtaining what is nothing short of the Holy Grail for 4th graders, a Guinness World Record. She quickly assembled an army of obese zombie children and convinced them to jump up and down with her on the South Lawn. Yesterday, the jumping jacks were finally tallied, and our Michelle went on The YouTube to announce her victory and remind everyone that they are still fat, despite this.


Here is our FLOTUS, in a lovely red number, gently telling America, "Hey, you're still going to end up in one of those disgusting monster coffins, unless you keep doing jumping jacks."

If this is Michelle Obama's campaign ad for First Lady 2012, we are not anxious to see Marcus Bachmann's rebuttal. He will probably be forced to eat 300,265 donuts now, to cancel out the whole thing. [YouTube]

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The great journalists at the National Enquirer regularly sent advance digital copies of stories about Donald Trump and his political opponents to Michael Cohen, according to a story in the Washington Post, which cited "three people with knowledge of the matter" as sources. Probably Trump was one of them, you know how he is.

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Times have been tough for those Trump supporters who are fine with his rampant bigotry but are discovering he's going to screw them like any number of non-wife-like women he totally swears he's never met.

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