1,000 checked napkins were killed to make this shirt

Here is the candidate's wife at a children's hospital in Puerto Rico Wednesday, wearing an insane ruffled-collar shirty deal to fend off the malaria. More photos of her towering over the shrimpy citizens of Puerto Rico in fashionable flats after the jump.

She is one million feet tall, and her shoes look expensive. We like.

Paging Dr. Ferragamo

Seconds after this photo was taken, the child was snapped in two by Mrs. Obama's impressive guns. [AP Photos]

Greetings, Puerto Rican child! I come bearing the gift of FASHION


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