Jesus, Michelle Obama, could you stop oppressing America for even one second? First there were your terrible lies about how "poor black schools are not as good for their students as rich white schools" what are obviously lies, because you can eat at a Woolworth's lunch counter now, and also Donald Sterling. And now we get a new charge from some sort of funny humorist or satirist at Tucker Carlson's White Hoods Internet Emporium. (We know he is a satirist because he sexplains that you are RACIST if you do not agree with Michelle Obama, but he DOES NOT MEAN IT!) That charge? That you are turning The Children into THOUGHT POLICE! Totally sounds like you, actually, Mrs. Obama. Please stop Nazi Youthing the children!

What's up, Jim Treacher?

There can be no aspect of your daily life that’s removed from politics. Now you will be monitored by your own children for expressing unapproved opinions. You’d better watch what you say at the dinner table, Mom and Dad.

Oh, fuck, that sounds bad. All the little Thought Police Nazi Yugend will then call up the FEMA goons and the IRS (but we repeat ourselves), right, Jim Treacher? Why don't you blockquote something from the Blaze so we can all be shocked and horrified together?

First lady Michelle Obama is encouraging students to monitor their older relatives, friends and co-workers for any racially insensitive comments they might make, and to challenge those comments whenever they’re made.

Oh, SHIT. But if children "challenge" their older relatives at the dinner table for saying balls-out racist shit about monkeys or something fucking terrible, or even say like, "hey mom, 'Oriental' is no longer the preferred nomenclature dude, just FYI, love you," then clearly Freedom of Speech is as dead and buried as whomever the Clintons murdered this week.

Oh, if only we could control what other people think and feel. But until that magic day arrives, all we can do is set people against each other based on race, under the guise of “fighting racism.” [...]

Of course, this post is racist because the First Lady is black. If you don’t condemn me for disagreeing with her, you’re a racist too.


Okay, we'll condemn you. Hooray, problem solved!


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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