Donate

Michelle Obama Jumps Rope To Amusement of Obese Kelly Ripa Fans

News

Why hello, FLOTUS fans. Have you been wondering what your First Lady Michelle Antoinette Obama has been up to the past few weeks? Anything particularly scandalous aside from hanging outon Pinterest looking at pictures of smoothies and going around, giving advice to hopelessly unemployed college graduates? Oh, here is something to freak out about: our FLOTUS went on "Live! With Kelly!" on Monday to show off how completely not-obese she is, which is very elitist of her. She was wearing "palazzo pants," because again, she thinks she is too good for jorts and a two-for-one pack of tee-shirts from Walmart! That's the thing about our Michelle. One minute she is renting out a Spanish palace mosque for herself and her closest girlfriends, and the next minute she's jumping rope, like poor children do in after-school specials about diversity.


Michelle Obama was joined on the show by what we assume is the least popular group of kids in Cary, North Carolina, the "Cary YMCA SuperSkippers."

Dressed in a pair of bright blue trousers, a flower-print blouse and a green cardigan, FLOTUS helped coach a frightened Ripa, who said she was “dying to learn” the sport.

“Turning is just as important as jumping,” Michelle Obama, 48, said.

After Ripa successfully jumped rope on her second try, the First Lady was ready to show her what a real expert can do.

After her first attempt didn’t pan out, The First Lady instructed the members of the competition team to “turn faster” before she jumped in to show off her skills.

Not only is that Michelle Obama a show-off, she is bossy, giving jump-roping orders to a professional troupe of child athletes! And oh, how we love her. Here is that video.

[Politico/NY Daily News]

$
Donate with CC

Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

The Commentczar's In Town

popular

Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc