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Michigan Rep. John Conyers Totally Trolls English-Only Hearings

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John Conyers, how regularly you delight us! (Once, we sat next to the million-term Michigan Democrat at a recording industry handjob event, and could not wait to tell him about how we had read that the stupid TSA, post-9/11, was constantly pulling him out of line because of his bum ticker. "That's Dingell," he answered shortly, and did not speak to us the rest of the night.) But what has John Conyers done now? Oh, just expertly trolled the hearings for the English Language Unity Act (because of how Congress is so singlemindedly focused on jobs) by opening his remarks in Spanish, Newt Gingrich's famed "language of the ghetto."

It was so sweet of Conyers to attempt, quite belaboredly, the Spanish tongue. But then -- d'oh! -- those clever Trent Frankses et al. said that he made their point for them, about how difficult it would be if all communications were translated into multiple lingua. Of course, the bill says rather more than that -- it bans federal and state employees from communicating with people in their native languages at all, and not just in official business on the House floor. Why? Well, probably because Steve King is a dick.

Oh right, would you have ever guessed that the English Language Unity Act was first introduced in 2005 by champion of animal rights (to fight to the death) and person who thinks raping little girls is not illegal in the United States of America, Iowa Congressman Steve King? Another feather in Iowa's cap!

And now, a musical interlude:

You are welcome.

[TPM]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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