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Wonkers, have you noticed that the GOP candidates this year are gross and vile? Like, even more than usual. It's as if the party of '70s suburbanites with bad ideas about taxes and abortion got super inbred and and radicalized, to the point that you wouldn't let them babysit your goldfish. Thank you gerrymandered districts that guarantee Republicans can win with zero Democratic votes! And Fox News! And Limbaugh! AND TRUMP!

But all this doubling down has a cost. Several Republican nominees this cycle are so toxic that their own party elders are tapping out and endorsing the Democratic opponent. And third party candidates, fearful of being blamed for saddling their states with a lunatic, are pulling out of races where they might play the spoiler. You know what this is? It is gosh darn delightful.


To wit, yesterday Arizona's Green Party candidate Angela Green announced that she's pulling out of the US Senate race and throwing her support to Democrat Kyrsten Sinema. As a practical matter, Green's name stays on the ballots, which are already printed. But Sinema and Martha McSally are essentially tied, with Green polling at around 2 percent of the vote. So even a few thousand voters shifting to Sinema might make the difference. Assuming that God doesn't smite McSally with a lightning bolt for telling such egregious lies about her support for pre-existing conditions.

In Kansas, Donald Trump's endorsement pushed raving votefucker Kris Kobach over the edge in the Republican gubernatorial primary, despite the local GOP's preference for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback went off to bring Jesus to the hottentots. But Kobach's vote suppression mania and traveling legal salesman antics seem to have put off Kansas Republicans. Kobach is currently polling dead even with totally normal, not insane person Laura Kelly, in a state Trump took by 20 points.

Kelly has been endorsed by former Republican governors Bill Graves and Mike Hayden, as well as former Senator Nancy Kassebaum. And three days ago, third party candidate Greg Orman's campaign treasurer resigned and threw his support behind Kelly. Saying Kobach would be "one of the worst things that could happen to the state," former GOP state Senator Tim Owens of Overland Park urged Orman's supporters "to unite behind Kelly and stop GOP candidate Kris Kobach."

Meanwhile, in VA-7, former Republican Senator John Warner is endorsing CIA agent/Girl Scout troop leader/decent human being Abigail Spanberger over Tea Party loon Dave Brat. Who is none of those things. Warner represented Virginia in the Senate for 30 years and has endorsed both Democrats and Republicans, including Tim Kaine and ... ewwww, Ed Gillespie. Warner said of Spanberger,

[S]he brings a strong understanding of the complex world beyond our nation's shores and how that impacts the economy and jobs right here in central Virginia. Abigail has spent her career serving on the front-line to keep our country safe. If elected as a member of Congress, she needs no "on the job training" in how to defend our fellow citizens and strengthen our economy and our national security.

Very true! And also she isn't a lyin'ass punk who complains about constituents getting "up in her grill" like Rep. Dave Brat. Let's hope she does better than Howdy Doody Gillespie.

And finally, there's Iowa, where Republican Governor Kim Reynolds was in a tough fight with Democrat Fred Hubbell before her campaign co-chair Congressman Steve King reminded everyone that he's a repellent, Nazi bigot. After King got caught palling around with actual neo-Nazis in Poland, Reynolds said,

[King] is not involved in policy; he's not involved in anything. When I don't agree with what he says, I'm very open about that. None of us agree on everything. I also cannot be held accountable for what every person tweets or says. I'm accountable for myself, and I am leading. We're providing results. This state is heading in the right direction and they have absolutely nothing to talk about.

Also, STEVE WHO? He's just the coffee boy. The Quad-City Times reported,

Reynolds, speaking to reporters, said King is not a campaign co-chair, but "he's one of about 5,000 honorary chairs and really what it is is an endorsement of my campaign."

A Reynolds campaign news release last November said the campaign was co-chaired by U.S. Sens. Joni Ernst and Chuck Grassley, Iowa's Congressmen Rod Blum and King, and former Iowa Agriculture Secretary Bill Northey, who stepped down as a state co-chair when he accepted a federal post.

Nope. No backsies. You gotta dance with the one that brung ya, Governor.

FOUR MORE DAYS.

[KTAR / McClatchy / AP / Richmond Times-Dispatch / Quad-City Times]

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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