Mike Castle Won't Run as a Write-In, Christine O'Donnell Still Won't Win

News
  • Mike Castle won't run as a write-in candidate for President! (But you already knew this. However, Mike just announced he would not seek the office of "U.S. Senator, from Delaware.") This is good news for Oxford Sex Demon Christine O'Donnell, since now that Mike Castle won't split the "sane vote" she is guaranteed to lose. Because does Christine O'Donnell even want to be a U.S. Senator? We think not. She wants to be a FOX News "analist" or whatever. Or maybe she will endorse her favorite brand of masturbation cream, for some money and a lifetime supply of masturbation cream? Christine wants to live the dream, and you can't do that if you're a U.S. Senator. So you jerks can judge her all day long, but we shall see who's laughing in a year, when you are jobless and hungry and Christine O'Donnell is pregnant with Newt Gingrich's 1,000th illegitimate child. (Jesus will be laughing, at all of us.) [The Caucus]
  • Biggest Sore Loser in the Entire World "Lisa Murkowski" is leading in the polls with 41%, while Joe Miller's lumberjack shtick has attracted 30% of the vote. Meanwhile, Jim DeMint is sobbing in a corner somewhere, mumbling about "that woman" as he goes diarrhea in his adult diapers. [Political Wire]


  • A.I.G. has been busy at the Glenn Beck Chalkboard, devising a plan to repay American taxpayers the hundreds of billions of dollars it borrowed all those many years ago. Hooray! According to the New York Times, "Under the plan, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York would be repaid the nearly $20 billion that it is owed and the Treasury Department would convert the $49.1 billion in preferred stock that it holds into 1.66 billion common shares. Over all, A.I.G. received a bailout package of nearly $180 billion." Wait, what? What about the other $160 billion? Good grief. [NYT]

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