Mike Huckabee Has 'Not Ruled Out' Losing To Hillary Or Ted Cruz In 2016


HUCK SMASH!Mike Huckabee, we can hardly even remember why we hate you! Oh yes, because you said the Newtown school horror happened because of abortion pills and how we expelled God from school. And also because you want to point guns at our heads to make us watch your nutty Jesus friend David Barton lie about history to us. And OMG, you know how he over-pronounces the "h" in "why," like "huhwye?" That's a capital offense right there. Oh, and there's a new reason, which we will get to in a minute. Anyway, The POLITICO says Huckabee is "informally chatting with people, asking if they think there’s any value in my taking it to another level." There's another level? RESET! POWER OFF! UNPLUG! BREAK IN HALF!

Right, so what's that new reason we hate Mike Huckabee, and does it have anything to do with saying a terrible/hilarious thing about Muslims?

That depends on whether you think "So the Muslims will go to the mosque, and they'll have their day of prayer, and they come out of there like uncorked animals, throwing rocks and burning cars, you know..." is a terrible/hilarious thing to say about Muslims. Is it? IS it? We just can't decide.

Somehow we missed it when he said this originally, like a month ago, which is a good sign. The full context of the quote was Huckabee musing on huhwye oh huhwye do Muslims get so violent on their holiest days? Christians do not do that! (Except how they did in Northern Ireland and probably many, many other places throughout history, and how Muslims don't actually do this in the United States, huh you think civil unrest might have more to do with underlying social, political, and economic conditions, with religion becoming the proxy for these other issues? Nah it's the muslins, they are the worst!)

Mike Huckabee's name is fun to say, and it rhymes with Applebee's, which is a restaurant that isn't the absolute worst, and he plays the bass guitar pretty OK. Sounds like a president to us!

(PREDICTION: Mike Huckabee will run for president for precisely as long as it takes to convince Fox News he's serious and offer him more money to stay. Keep huckin' that uncorked animal!)



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