Mike Huckabee: Kill Obamacare By Increasing Government Funding For Healthcare
This week on "Fox & Friends' Argle Bargle Hate & Pray in the Morning" show, yo-yo-dieting expert Mike Huckabee wide-angle remoted in to talk to the one guy who is even dumber than Steve Doocy about his sure-fire way to shut up the Pres about how all the GOP wants to do is kill Obamacare, and finally getting down to the business of killing Obamacare once and for all. How would they do this? By letting the GOP go ahead and cure cancer.
Huckabee said the GOP should [instead] advocate for a government-funded Manhattan-style project to “focus on a cure [for disease] rather than just focus on a treatment.
Hey, now you're thinking Mike! Let's go nuclear on cancer's ass! (Like radiation? Or chemo?) Yes Governor Huckabee, we agree. Someone should really go ahead and start some government funded programs that focus on curing diseases like the cancer. We could call them the "National Institutes of Health" or maybe the "National Cancer Institute" and finally get some fucking research started on curing shit! That could be a thing! Why hasn't anyone done this? Stupid government.
Then of course, we'd have to make sure there weren't any cancer-loving assholes with bullshit agendas that include "cutting funding for these programs" and guard against "budget reducing sequesters," that make all this research harder, but really, who would ever be such a dick?
Mike Huckabee then tells an unlie and channels our personal prophet and spiritual guide to life, Chris Rock, to explain that the private sector sucks evil cock dick and they don't give a fuck about you or your stupid diseases:
The national commitment to curing diseases like cancer, Alzheimer’s, heart disease and diabetes “has to be largely government funded because the government is the only entity that doesn’t have to have a return on investment,” he explained. “You put it in the hands of the private sector… [that] doesn’t make sense because there is no money long-term if you cure the disease.
We already hate you, Fox & Friends, but now you have us agreeing with something Mike Huckabee said that he will probably unsay and argue against soon? This aggression will not stand, man.
So that's that. Mike Huckabee, who up until now has only ever thought that government should exist to make sure kids pray in school all the time, wants to kill Obamacare and instead create government programs that already exist to cure diseases like cancer and then no one will need health insurance any more ever again. And the need for preventative "wellness check-ups," prenatal care, fixing your dumb kids' broken bones, helping those with a touch of the crazy and everything else people go to doctors for, all goes away if we can finally just cure some cancer we guess? Also we are super pumped to hear about how free the GOP cancer cure will be, once they've got that shit on lock down.