Trump

So WTF Happened With The National Guard And The Capitol Police?

Chuck, Nancy, Mitch, and Mark defund some police (chiefs).

Finally we see some bipartisanship! Nancy and Mitch and Kevin and Chuck agree that HEADS WILL FUCKING ROLL after Wednesday's terrorist attack on Congress. And they were even unanimous on the first three heads, with Capitol Police Chief Steven A. Sund, House Sergeant at Arms Paul D. Irving, and Senate Sergeant at Arms Michael C. Stenger, who presided over this colossal disaster, first on the block.

Safe bet these guys opening the barricades for the mob will be resigning, too.

But after that, the picture looks murkier.

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2020 presidential election

Literally All Former Defense Secretaries To Trump: Don't Even F*cking Try It

Extraordinary.

The Washington Post published something extraordinary Sunday afternoon, something that even in the middle of Trump's final shitshow, we shouldn't let pass without our notice. All 10 living former Defense secretaries — all of them — felt the need to sign an op-ed saying that under no circumstances should the United States military let itself get involved in "election disputes," by which they mean the current authoritarian clown president's attempts to overturn the clearly expressed will of the American people in the November election.

Who's on this list? Oh, just known libs like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, plus General James Mattis and Mark Esper, the two guys who served as Donald Trump's actual Senate-confirmed Defense secretaries. Plus Ashton Carter, William Cohen, Robert Gates, Chuck Hagel, Leon Panetta, and William Perry. Like we said, all of them Katie.

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Congress

House Declines Trump Offer To Piss On Military, Votes To Override Veto Of Defense Spending Bill

Chaos monkeys.

As Republicans beat their chests and howl on Fox News about Trump staying in office after January 20, they've given the clearest sign yet that they know the game is up. Yesterday 109 House Republicans voted to override the president's veto of the annual defense spending bill, openly defying him for the first time in four years.

Naturally, Trump took the setback with grace and his customary diplomacy.

You forgot to scream SOCIALISM, sir. But good use of racial slurs and implied threats to Mitch McConnell.

Last week, President Addlepate vetoed the must-pass National Defense Authorization Act, which funds, among other things, military pay raises and upgrades to the nation's cybersecurity.

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Congress

Trump Defunds The Troops Because You Were Mean To Him Online

Hope you're proud of yourselves!

Yesterday President Bone Spurs made good on his threat to veto the National Defense Authorization Act, AKA the NDAA, AKA the $740 billion defense spending bill that sailed through Congress on a 335-78 vote in the House and an 84-13 margin in the Senate. Demanding yet another act of obeisance, Trump insists that Republicans hold a gun to the military's head and threaten to shoot if Nancy Pelosi won't allow the president to break the internet. Because when you make a deal with the devil, the devil always gets his due.

My Administration recognizes the importance of the Act to our national security. Unfortunately, the Act fails to include critical national security measures, includes provisions that fail to respect our veterans and our military's history, and contradicts efforts by my Administration to put America first in our national security and foreign policy actions. It is a "gift" to China and Russia.

Which underpants gnome is he quoting when he says "gift"? Would that be Rasher, Dander or Blister?

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