The Trump administration is scraping social media in order to spy on anti-Trump protests, but that's not all! Curiously vague updates to the new defense doctrine give the military more authority to act in the event of "emergencies," like an insurrection or an invasion of taco trucks. With such broad tools you'd think a definitely not racist person like Trump might find a way to stop a mass murder or two.

Motherboard reports that when the Trump administration took office it inherited a fancy new computer to spy on the social media of Not America. It didn't take long for someone to wonder if it could be used to spy on all the communists who didn't vote for Trump. The Army cut some nerds a check to follow the 2016 post-election protests, like at the inauguration, the airport protests, and the Women's March. They found that whenever people wear their pink pussy hats and march in the streets they usually post a lot on social media. The report concluded that by cyber stalking social networks, you can predict the likelihood of violent protests.

After realizing what neat little toys the Obama administration had been cooking up, the Intelligence Advanced Research Projects Activity (IARPA) took its social media spy machine, called Embers, and moved it to the private sector. Safely hidden from the prying eyes of pesky FOIAs, the Trump administration can simply pay someone else do the legally dubious and dirty work of spying on Americans.