Minnesota House Candidate Definitely Does Not Know How Babby Is Formed

Minnesota House Candidate Definitely Does Not Know How Babby Is Formed

On the one hand, we're dreading the next four months because we're headed into peak silly season for state and national elections and there will be so very much dumb politicking rammed down our throats. On the other hand, we write a political humor mommyblog warblog, and ridiculous things done by ridiculous political people is sort of our bread and butter. So, we're grateful, sort of, for Minnesota House of Representatives candidate Bob Frey, who has some very interesting, and very confused, ideas about how babies are made and also too about AIDS. SPOILER ALERT: He's pretty sure it is all about enzymes somehow.

Frey then explained his view: “When you have egg and sperm that meet in conception, there’s an enzyme in the front that burns through the egg. The enzyme burns through so the DNA can enter the egg. If the sperm is deposited anally, it's the enzyme that causes the immune system to fail. That’s why the term is AIDS – acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.”

Sex education was a long time ago for pretty much all the individual moving parts of yr Wonkette, but we're pretty certain that we never learned about anything burning through any other thing. We're also both delighted and perplexed by how oddly specific his explanation is: the enzyme only lives on the front of the sperm, apparently, so if that sucker gets turned about while swimming, no baby for you! And we can't even begin to sort out how a grown human person actually believes that if sperm goes in one hole, there's a baby, and if it goes in another hole, it kills you. It has the unusual distinction of making no sense from an evolutionary standpoint or a religious standpoint. Our species wouldn't have lasted very long if the same thing that made babies also could accidentally kill you and, in the Jesus-y realm, what sort of fucked-up God makes the sperm the bringer of babies and the bringer of death? Also, does this theory apply when dudes buttsechs the ladies, or does the enzyme only get all murderous if it goes from dude to dude? We have so many questions.

It is, of course, a given that Mr. Bob Frey is a fellow traveler of Michele Bachmann and is really only a couple degrees of separation from Wonkette fan favorite Bradlee Dean.

Frey [...] says education is a particular passion, developed while working with then-state senator Michele Bachmann to defeat the “profiles in learning” education platform.

Frey has also received the endorsement of the district’s retiring representative, Ernie Leidiger, perhaps best known for inviting anti-gay pastor Bradlee Dean to serve as guest chaplain for the House prayer, a prayer that was stricken from the record after Dean questioned President Obama’s faith.

Well, those were some awfully big and awfully dumb shoes to fill, but it looks like Frey will do just fine.



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