Minnesota In-Laws Just Can't Quit Accidentally Shooting Each Other; Drinking Somehow Not Involved
A Chaska, Minnesota, family is just not having a good week when it comes to accidentally shooting each other. It's kind of hard for Yr Wonkette to really identify with, what with not owning a gun and all, which means we are apparently missing out on all the awesome self-protection and unintended flesh wounds, not to mention the public mockery. (OK, there was that one time when we put Calgon, British Colombia,* in the wrong state of Canada, but at least that left no holes in our body).
So tell us all about these poster children for the NRA, CBS Minnesota:
Police in Chaska say that three in-laws were accidentally shot by other family members in two separate incidents, one of which happened during a game of Monopoly.
Officers say the first incident they responded to a number of days ago involved a man accidentally shooting his father-in-law in the foot with a handgun.
Police say alcohol was not involved and the entire incident was due to “negligent weapon handling.”
OK, ouch. Well, you'd think that after that, they'd learn their lesson and brush up on their Eddie Eagle gun safety tips and never mishandle a firearm again. But these are Amurrican gun owners, and residents of Chaska Friggin' Minnisota at that:
Then, this past weekend, officers said they responded to another shooting involving the family. This time, the father-in-law was apparently mishandling his handgun and shot himself in the hand while they were playing a board game.
The bullet, after passing through his hand, then struck his wife in the stomach, police said ...
Again, officers say alcohol does not appear to have been involved in the second shooting.
We'd just love to find out that they were playing the Friendship Is Magic edition of Monopoly, but that's too much to hope for.
And there's a valuable lesson in this: Even though lots of people play Monopoly with their own informal rules, it's best to follow the official rules, which do not actually allow you to collect a pile of cash and a 9mm Glock for landing on "Free Parking."
The city council is collecting donations to purchase bullet-proof vests for the family's next board game night, which is scheduled for Saturday, and tensions are mounting over who will lay claim to the Top Hat.
* Don't bother sending a correction; we know perfectly well that it's really in Algeria.
[ CBS Minnesota via Wonkette Operative "BG"]
Minnesota In-Laws Just Can't Quit Accidentally Shooting Each Other; Drinking Somehow Not Involved
Well, fuck. They will not tolerate "gratuitous derision". Guess that eliminates any Wonketeers.
Probably it was Hungry Hungry Hippos, not Monopoly. Then it just got out of hand.