Missouri Gov Jay Nixon Finally Ready For His Closeup, CNN
Folks have been wondering where Missouri's Democratic governor, Jay Nixon, has been for oh, the past five days or so, while St. Louis and Ferguson police have been just shootin' errrrebody. Well, never fear. Governor Nixon has canceled his appearances at the state fair to come to Ferguson, and he has attended a town hall to do some good listenin' and wishin' for peace and ... rambling on about how he hopes he looks good on the teevee? Really?
Oh, Jay Nixon, buddy, you are such toast.
We came in at the end of Nixon's town hall remarks, just in time for what we assume was him splaining that in America, reporters are actually allowed to take pictures of cops while they are beating the shit out of people. Let's use our rewind button and our typing fingers!
"We live in a free country. I prefer that they would make me look young and skinny if they take pictures of me, but I'm not confident that that's what I'm gonna find. Sometimes when you see pictures of yourself, you get up in the morning or someone sends a picture to you from a party or whatever or you get a wedding or a birth or whatever and you have your picture taken and you look at it and you say 'wow, who is that old guy, that's not a very good picture of me!' What we need is a picture of the moment so that in these transitions, regardless of what we look like, the emotion, the true emotion is not tamped down but used for positive good."
Nope. Nope. Nope. Not even the gratuitous Bamz reference is gonna get a smile out the folks in the room, Gov. Nixon, because this is not really a time for jokes about how this teevee camera makes your head look like your ass.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.