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Mitt Romney Bullies High School Classmates Into Saying Nice Things About Him

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Preppy shit Mitt Romney is responding to today's story about him leading a high school mob to hair-rape a gay in classic style: First,apologizing while laughing his ass off, and then struggling to solicit "supporting remarks" from the few classmates he didn't terrorize. Boy howdy, we're having some fun now. Did you know that Mitt Romney also hair-raped people in college and Michael Barone also thought he was a jerk in high school? Please, don't get all caught up in the torturous "DOES THIS MATTER??" handwringing. Let's just continue laughing at how much of a little prick the youthful Mitt Romney was.


Hunter Walker notes that there was much more about wacky Romney hijinks in an earlier Washington Post story that didn't cause such a brouhaha, because it wasn't gay hair, maybe. Just dirty public university hair:

Mr. Romney’s shaving incident, which his father, former Michigan Governor George Romney revealed in a 1970 speech, occurred while he was a student at Stanford. The elder Mr. Romney said Mitt and his friends lured students from the University of California into a trap where they “shaved their heads and painted them red.”

And did you know that Mitt Romney was the French killer in Scream? (SPOILER ALERT, PREVIOUS SENTENCE):

One night in Bayonne, in southern France, Keele answered a knock on the door and saw two men, their faces hidden by sheets, ordering him in French to put his hands behind his back, turn around and not utter a word. Keele fled out the back door only to hear Romney, his mask removed, laughing uproariously in the house.

And here is almanac specialist and cherished high-end wingnut Michael Barone recalling that, much like Michael Barone, Mitt Romney was a "jerk" back at fairest Cran-upon-Brook:

BUT DOES THIS MATTER?? Eh, why the hell not.

Okay, okay, one more, which Pareene brings back to the spotlight:

We met in elementary school – we did. I was a Cub Scout, and she was riding a horse bareback over some railroad tracks. What do Cub Scouts do when they see a little girl on a horse? We picked up stones and threw them.

[WaPo, Buzzfeed]

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Wednesday, during Sarah Huckabee Sanders's first public explosion of lies in 16 days, she gave a very unclear answer to a question from the New York Times's Maggie Haberman, which was "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" Specifically the question was about Russian reports that Putin's rogue shithole state would like to question/detain 11 Americans for their supposed "crimes" against Russia, in exchange for Russia's cooperation in letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian military intelligence officials he indicted last week for hacking our 2016 election. Putin's list of pals he would like to have for a chat starts with businessman Bill Browder, who used to be Russia's biggest foreign investor, who is actually a British citizen (LOL Russia is stupid), and who is Vladimir Putin's arch-enemy because Browder and his Russian accountant Sergei Magnitsky (whom Putin later had killed in jail) exposed massive Russian government corruption that led to the creation of "Magnitsky Acts" all over the world that sanction the ever-loving fuck out of Putin and his buddies.

Getting rid of the Magnitsky Act is Putin's number one foreign policy priority, so it's probably safe to say it's high on Donald Trump's list too. Indeed, during Trump's shameful press conference with Putin, Trump said Putin had made an "incredible offer" during their private meeting, and it was MOAR PEE HOOKERS! for the quid pro quo we described above. How sweet of Trump's KGB boss to offer to make such an Art Of The Deal with him!

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In an impressive display of fiscal restraint, House Republicans yesterday refused to fund security for election systems before this fall's midterms, because ... well, not sure, really. (Just kidding. We know why and you know why and they know you know and we know why!)

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