Mitt Romney Fighting Two-Headed Beast of Losingness

mittens?Pretty much every candidate is unveiling new ads today for that final... push... primaries... Iowa thing.... Oh, right, sorry -- I just lost concentration for a minute there while watching Mitt Romney's pathetic TWO new ads, one for Iowa and one for New Hampshire. Those two states were his strongholds until recently, when Fuckabee started out-Jesusing him in Iowa and a bunch of newspapers started liking WALNUTS! in New Hampshire. After the jump, watch Mitt Romney attack each in individual 30-second spots with the usual forms of pandering and transparently manipulative background music.


First, the Huckabee attack ad. He criticizes Huckabee for growing government and loving teh Messicans. Notice -- I'm really loathe to believe this is just a coincidence -- that the narrator talking about Huckabee has a soft lady voice, while the one for Romney has a gruff MAN voice. That's some classic Mittens there:

Next, the McCain attack ad. This one starts off by calling John McCain an "honorable man," which I guess is why he gets the gruff MAN narration while Huckabee doesn't. The McCain background music is dour, but around 20 seconds in, it's time to discuss the triumphant Romney!: Waves of delightful cymbals crash to announce our tax-cutting Romney's eight seconds of self-praise; the gruff MAN voice suddenly has a spring to its step: "And Mitt Romney? Mitt Romney!" Indeed, Mitt Romney:

Just gets worse by the day, this guy.

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