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Mitt Romney Like Hot Dog Best. Hamburger Second Best But Hot Dog Best.

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Mittens Romney is man from Utah-chusetts who is running to be Republican person in Senate. Mittens tell voters about important meat issues, like which meats are trending topics in Mittens Romney's mouth:

“My favorite meat is hot dog, by the way. That is my favorite meat,” he told a gathering of supporters as they joined him recently for a casual dinner organized by his campaign. “My second favorite meat is hamburger. And, everyone says, oh, don’t you prefer steak? It’s like, I know steaks are great, but I like hot dog best, and I like hamburger next best.”

Mittens Romney tell voters meat choice rankings because he is straight shooter not afraid to stand up to President Big Macs and say "Big Macs exist sometimes but hot dogs exist more times in my mouth."

Mittens Romney is not political person who wants to be some kind of politician, and that is why he is running for Senate from Utah, where he lives occasionally:

“I’m not in this race because I have some political career I’m trying to foster. My political career is over,” Romney said recently, in an exchange with voters as he campaigned near Salt Lake City. “A lot of people go back and make politics their career and they want to get as many goodies as they possibly can get. I got all the goodies I possibly want.”

Mittens Romney has many goodies, like especially hot dogs. Nobody has to worry about Mittens Romney being whore for special interests, because Mittens only special interest is these five hot dogs he carries in his pocket all the time, do you want one? No you can't have one, those are for Mittens, get your own.

Mittens Romney does not like fish too much, because is fish food, or is fish the thing normal and well-adjusted wife Egg Romney wears on shirt?

Egg Romney's fish clothes is not for eating, hot dog is what Mittens will be having today, because hot dog is best food for Mittens. If Mittens Romney could fill car elevator with hot dogs and go up and down and up and down until Mormon God decides Mittens's life is over, he would do that, but instead he has to very easily win a Senate seat from Utah, even though he is "done with politics," ugh so boring, but anyway hot dogs is Mitt Romney's political platform.

Mittens Romney's platform for non-political hot dog Senate campaign is also that he does not do anal but is well known for his rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner," oh wait maybe we are getting our important political news wires crossed:

Here is a picture of hot dogs:

Here is additional picture of hot dogs:

Here is picture of James Franco crying because he is eating hamburgers, which are not best like hot dogs:

Oh hey, do you have any hot dogs? Mittens Romney just came to this kitchen to ask:

In summary and in conclusion, Mittens Romney For Being Inside Senate 2018! Will there be hot dogs in Senate? Oh yes there will be hot dogs, Mittens Romney will bring them, what do you think, that Mittens Romney is some kind of inhuman robot monster who will not bring hot dogs to Senate? Well let Mittens Romney tell you something and it is

(This post has been canceled until further notice.)

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[Mitt Romney Hot Dog Report]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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An unhinged wannabe fascist who tweets about golden showers did a news conference in the Rose Garden this afternoon. Also, Donald Trump was there.

Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro is in town, and everything about today's public appearance with Trump and Bolsonaro has been real stupid, just like how it was real stupid when Bolsonaro's stupid son was the stupid guest of honor the other night at a stupid Steve Bannon event at the stupid Trump trash palace hotel in DC.

During their pool spray, Trump excitedly told reporters that he was making plans to give NATO privileges to Brazil, because of how Brazil elected a big gross dipshit just like America did. Of course, considering how Trump treats actual NATO countries, Bolsonaro might want to reconsider whether he wants that.

Then a reporter asked him about his blubbering whiny-ass attacks on John McCain, who is still dead.

That's right, Donald Trump didn't even avoid the question about his very embarrassing behavior. He spoke about McCain as if McCain were still alive, whined about McCain killing Obamacare repeal, and concluded by saying, "I was never a fan of John McCain, and I never will be." As for McCain, he will continue living rent-free in the president's nightmares and his face will be the face of Trump's insecurities, because we guess that's what happens to John McCains when they die.

But enough about the pool spray! After they met in the Oval Office and did whatever fascists who should be prohibited entry to the White House via an electric doggie fence do (sniffed each other's butts, probably), they entered the Rose Garden and proceeded to hike their legs on democracy some more.

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Yep, we're breaking out the Wikimedia kitten image for this one.

CNN is out today with a story on members of the anti-vaccination/pro-disease movement who have found a delightful new way to win converts to their side in the war on science: find parents (mothers, generally) who have recently lost a child to a preventable disease, and then harass them on social media, because after all, good people refuse vaccines and anyone who advocates for vaccines must be burned to the ground. As your lawyer (we are not a lawyer), we advise you to secure any hurlable heavy objects near you before reading.

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