Mitt Romney Says Something, CNN Writes it Down
Can you type? Or if you can’t type, can you tell like an intern or somebody that you need something typed? Because if you do, you might have a shot at becoming a political producer for CNN, given that these skills are a prerequisite for the job, which seems mainly to consist of typing things that other people said, and then connecting them until they look kind of like an article.
Did you know, for example, that Romney SAID something yesterday, about school choice? Oh you didn’t? Luckily, CNN’s Political Producer Rachel Streitfeld dutifully wrote it down, along with some other stuff that other people said.
Calling the nation's falling educational standards "the civil rights issue of our time," on Wednesday Mitt Romney proposed dramatically expanding school choice for low-income and disabled children. Romney told members of the Latino Coalition gathered at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce that millions of American children were "getting a third-world education," adding: "America's minority children suffer the most. This is the civil rights issue of our era."
Guess what happened after that? Turns out he also said other things! And luckily, our favorite CNN Political Producer wrote those down too! For example:
The GOP hopeful said low-income and disabled students should be able to choose to attend any public or charter schools in a voucher-like program, with federal aid following them to their chosen schools. The campaign also proposed allowing students to apply those federal funds toward private schools when permitted by state law, or to use funds for a tutor or digital course.
After that, his advisers told reporters something about what Romney said, which the CNN Political Producer ALSO typed out!
Campaign advisers told reporters the plan would not require new federal spending. They did not discuss the plan's effect on schools largely supported by that same federal aid.
Then Romney said even more stuff, and luckily, the CNN Political Producer's fingers weren't too tired to keep on trucking and type it out:
In his speech Romney offered a harsh rebuke to teachers unions – suggesting those who sought to bar school choice might consider a different profession – and accused President Barack Obama of being beholden to the powerful union lobby."The president can't have it both ways," Romney said. "He can't be the voice of the disadvantaged public school kids and the protector of the special interests."
Then Obama’s campaign said something too, and the CNN Political Producer Rachel Streitfeld typed that out and put it at the end, for "balance" and "bipartisanism:"
The Obama re-election campaign was critical of Romney's education proposals on Wednesday. Ben LaBolt, the campaign's press secretary, said Romney's remarks were "vague" and "detail-less" on a conference call with reporters.
"In order to pay for his massive tax cuts weighted to the wealthy, Romney would have to make massive spending cuts in our schools, higher education and our job training programs," LaBolt said. "Those are not the priorities the American people want in their president."
And THAT, friends, is what it takes to be a Political Producer for CNN: typing. You don’t need to interview any teachers or anything, and see what they think about school choice, and you definitely don’t need to talk to students or parents or follow up with any hard questions or give any context, or talk about how school choice has worked out in communities across the country: just type it on out, type out something the other guy says, and then put maybe like an “and then” or a “but” to connect them. Or maybe just cut and paste from press releases so it looks like you did some actual reporting. By the way, this sought-after and vital skillset, according to Chris Matthews, is what makes 24/7 news so vital to protecting our Freedoms: we get something called "analysis," instead of just “embedded thinking.” Thank God! JOURNALISM!