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Mitt Romney Would Rather Lose Michigan Than Be Forced To Pander

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Mitt Romney may lose today's primary in his home state of Michigan in spite of having won it in 2008 by a wide margin, so what's the issue? Come now, Mitt Romney, don't hold back your feelings, tell the world how you don't even mind losing because you are grown sick of being the abused clown: "I'm not willing to light my hair on fire to try and get support," he says. THAT'S RIGHT, DAMMIT. Mitt Romney will immediately and categorically switch his position on absolutely any issue out there, but asking him to savage his pristine coif? Go pre-moisten one of Rick Santorum's microphones for him if you want filth. It is Mitt Romney's hair that we are talking about, right? Because it's not like Mittens would seriously complain that his principled stances are what might cost him this primary, right?


Oh god, it is:

"We've seen throughout the campaign if you're willing to say really outrageous things that are accusative, attacking of President Obama, that you're going to jump up in the polls," Romney said Tuesday. "I'm not willing to light my hair on fire to try and get support. I am who I am."

This is a good line of defense, to complain as a Republican candidate that you are being forced to attack the Democratic incumbent too much. Here, Mitt Romney will show you cretins how to be a gentleman in politics. Instead of fabricating bizarre stories about your opponent, you get up on stage and you make up bizarre stories about yourself:

Romney recalled he was “probably 4 or something like that” the day of the Golden Jubilee, when three-quarters of a million people gathered to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the American automobile.

“My dad had a job being the grandmaster. They painted Woodward Ave. with gold paint,” Romney told a rapt Tea Party audience in the village of Milford Thursday night, reliving a moment of American industrial glory.

The Golden Jubilee described so vividly by Romney was indeed an epic moment in automotive lore. The parade included one of the last public appearances by an elderly Henry Ford.

And it took place June 1, 1946 — fully nine months before Romney was born.

Now there's a real pro for you. [The Hill/ Toronto Star]

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While Donald Trump went to make fart noises at America's foes in the EU and shit all over our traditional enemy, the United Kingdom, it seems his administration had some tough talk for those darned Britons or English or Ukies -- they have many names! -- about the UK's oppression of religious minorities. Or at least the oppression of one guy: Tommy Robinson, the founder of the far-right anti-Muslim English Defence League, and his religious freedom to violate a court order, Reuters reports.

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The House Freedom Caucus is at it again, and this time they're taking aim at fellow Republican Rod Rosenstein. Politico reported Friday that Mark Meadows (R-Cackalacky) and Jim Jordan (R-Coverup) are ginning up support to impeach the deputy attorney general. See, Rosenstein is in BIG TROUBLE MISTER for refusing to turning over all the DOJ's confidential source material on the Russia investigation so that the GOP treason weasels can selectively leak it to their pals at Fox.

Rod Rosenstein does not have time for this shit -- he's busy right now indicting all those Russian military officials for hacking our election!

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