Mittens vs. Walnuts: What Is This Thing Called "Camaraderie"?
Cowering Americans! Super Tuesday is upon us! Now the candidates can no longer wander among actual voters, hoping to wow them with their personalities; with so many states, our overlords-to-be must take other means to assure us that they are fun-loving folk with whom we'd enjoy having a beer and totally not power-crazed maniac robots. For the Republicans, one of the best ways to do that is to provide Fox News with a picture of you goofing around with your best buds on your campaign jet? But which candidate does a better job? You decide, after the jump!
Let's start with a scene from "The Straight Talk Express Only In The Air With John McCain":
WALNUTS: Her breasts were quite large! I could have just reached out and grabbed them! Much like this! Ha ha! Oh, aren't large breasts attractive on a woman?
JACKET-WEARING SIDEBURNED DUDE: Indeed, sir. How droll!
But there's also frivolity over on Air Mitt!
MITTENS: See, just as I pulled the puppet strings of the real economy when I worked for Bain Capital, once I'm president I'll be able to control everything. Everything, you hear me? Everything! I can kill with a glance!
TERRIFIED LACKEYS: Oh, it's good that you said that sir! Ha ha ha! Please don't put us in the cornfield!
Unfortunately, no picture of Mike Huckabee on his jet were available, as his strict Baptist sect believes that photographs steal the human soul.